What Is The Difference Between Comedians And Other People? (and how this difference saved me)

Once again I was so nervous before a talk that I forgot to prepare. I kept thinking it would “come to me” but it never did.

“Bulletproof Coffee” was a sponsor of the “Thrive Conference” I was speaking at so I kept taking shots of Dave Asprey ‘s super-coffee. I drank ten cups of coffee in five minutes.

Then I had to run to the bathroom back and forth for the final hour before my talk. People would stop me when I was RUNNING to the bathroom, “What’s the title of your talk?” I had no idea! I have to go!

And then I thought of something I learned the other day on my own podcast.

I learned the difference between a comedian and a non-comedian.

The podcast was with Jon Macks, the man who wrote 500,000 jokes for Jay Leno over a 22 year period, who wrote the jokes for Billy Crystal’s Oscar performances and many more.

[ You can listen to my full interview with Jon Macks here: The Gut Decision That Lasts A Lifetime ]

I learned many things from talking to Jon. But first I was dying to know one thing.

Is a comedian different from other people?

And he said, “yes.”

“A comedian will go into EVERY situation and always look for what’s wrong.”

I want to be happy. All the time. And this often leads to that gut sick feeling and tears. Bad things happen = “bad happy.”

Demanding happiness is often the perfect prescription for unhappiness.

Louis CK has joke: on a plane he was on several years ago they announced they were just starting to provide WiFi on the plane.

Everyone was excited but then five minutes in they announced it wasn’t working.

The guy next to Louis CK said, “This is bullshit!”

Louis CK’s beginning of the joke was, “How can you be upset about something you didn’t even know existed five minutes ago?”

Several things interesting there:

The other man was just trying to be happy. Yay! WiFi!

Louis CK looked at the bigger picture: “You’re sitting in a chair, flying in SPACE, like a GREEK GOD.”

Louis CK noticed what was wrong (the complaint) and re-framed into a more accurate description of what was happening.

But here’s what’s most interesting:

I watched an interview Louis CK gave years later, breaking down this one joke.

“The man on the plane. That was me.”

Often the comedian is the observer. Not the subject. This way we find it easier to relate. But even when he confessed this in the interview I found it funny.

His process is also funny. Process is just as much “art” as the final product.

Some lessons:

• Don’t always look for things to be perfect.
• Find the things that are wrong can often lead to a more accurate and satisfying view of life.
• Find the global vision why it’s wrong
• Make fun of it.
• Truly learn from it by getting someone else to laugh.

I went to the bathroom again. I don’t like to run into anyone in the bathroom so I snuck into the kitchen of the hotel and found a “wheelchair only” bathroom in the back of the kitchen.

And now I was crying I was so scared to be talking in front of 600 other people. And so many other smart speakers. How could I compete! (Because it’s secretly all about competition).

I called AJ Jacobs, the current world’s expert on genealogy.

He told me something interesting. The exact family relationship (ultimately, by marriage) between me and Donald Trump. BOOM! Something to start with.

Then I was in front of the audience. Speaking. The full twenty steps on the family tree that links me to Donald Trump. Some chuckling.

I explained what was wrong with it. The specific difference between Donald Trump’s “locker room talk” and mine.

Mine was embarrassing and humiliating and self-deprecating: basically involving my “boys” making fun of a “smooth and tiny” part of my body.

Then everyone was laughing. And for the next 50 minutes they continued to laugh. I kept pointing out the things wrong with entrepreneurship, self-help, my own life, and my feeble and occasionally worthwhile steps to make them better.

The best transmission of information is on the bridge of laughter.

Thanks Jon Macks and Louis CK and Dave Asprey and AJ Jacobs and Donald Trump. I’m not a comedian. But at least people I can get people to laugh at me.

I’m not a comedian. But things are often terribly wrong. For some reason, that makes me feel super alive.

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Related Reading: The Tao of Louis CK 

How to be THE LUCKIEST GUY ON THE PLANET in 4 Easy Steps

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8 Excuses Why My Excuses Are Awesome

My comfort zone is rock solid. Because I used my excuses to build it.

And because I’m super-smart my excuses are like diamond. Trust me.

You can’t even drag me out of my comfort zone. Hell, you can’t even get in.

But there are a lot of things I wish I could do. They are outside my comfort zone. Which means I have to somehow smash my excuses in order to do them.

 

A) WRITE A NOVEL

I like to write non-fiction stories about my life every day. Like I’m doing this moment.

But I’ve written fiction before and I’d like to do it again. Like, right now But I don’t.

My excuse: my usual articles use up all my writing brain power for the day. So how can I write fiction? How can I write anything else?

[Related: How to Self-Publish a Bestseller: Publishing 3.0]

B) DO STAND UP COMEDY

I don’t like to stay up late at night. And I’m too old. Wherever I go, everyone seems younger than me.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked me to go to an open mic with her and we’d both do standup. I said, “sure.”

Then she got “vertigo,” whatever that is, and couldn’t go. So I had to go by myself. “I can’t go without you,” I told her. I was thinking of her!

I can go any night of the week to an open mic. But I want to be healthy and in bed by 9pm. Sounds healthy, right?

 

C) START A VIRTUAL REALITY SOFTWARE BUSINESS

How about a marketplace for virtual reality experiences. Sort of like “stock photography” meets virtual reality.

So if someone is building a NYC based VR game and needs “Times Square” they can find it in my marketplace. Send $1000 and you can put it in your game. BAM!

I know if I sit here and come up with ten ideas a day for a VR business then I’ll come up with a good one eventually.

How about an ad exchange for virtual realities?

But it seems like a lot of work. I’d have to hire developers. Spend money. Raise money. Travel to all of the virtual reality conferences. Meet a lot of people. Fire people when times are bad. Motivate people when times are mediocre.

Ugh, thinking about it makes me sick. What do I do once employees start having sex with each other? You have to deal with that.

But I want to do it. But it’s just too much. Too many excuses.

[RELATED: The Next Trillion Dollar Tech Business]

D) MAKE A TV SHOW. OR EVEN JUST WRITE FOR ONE.

After an article came out about me in the New York Times, a lot of people from big companies approached me about doing a TV show.

And I had some fun ideas. Even funny ideas. I still have ideas.

But I’ve worked at a TV company before. I’ve done a pilot before. I’ve been disappointed before.

I admire guys like Louis CK who can pitch show after show after show and eventually get it right and hit a homerun.

I don’t know if I have that inner strength. To put in a lot of up front work and then get rejected.

One time I pitched someone a bunch of ideas for a TV show. And she said, why don’t you come into the writer’s room and hang out with us and if we use an idea you can start getting actual writing credits.

I could have done it.

But the day I would have gone in, I stayed home. I don’t know why.

I was at the door, with my shoes and coat on in an October cold rainy day, I couldn’t leave my house. “I have to do other business stuff.” And so I stayed inside.

Made very important phone calls to people who are now dead.

 

E) BE A VENTURE CAPITALIST

I see deals and companies all the time. I get pitches all the time. I’ve been on boards of directors. I know how to guide companies to a sale.

I know exactly what to do. I actually have a great track record. In fact, I used to run a $125 million venture capital fund. But again: conferences. Travel. Meet investors. Pitch. Listen to pitches. Repeat.

In my last venture capital fund I got so sick of listening to pitches I bought a Defender arcade game and would make people wait in the conference room while I just played Defender.

Sometimes I even skipped the meeting completely. While they were sitting in the next room! And I had a crush on the secretary.

And then you have to compete with other venture capital funds. You have to say BS things like: “I’ll actually add value to your company. You want a partner who can bring something to the table. All those other guys just say they do it but I actually do it. I actually care.”

I don’t want to say that paragraph anymore.

 

F) HAVE MORE FRIENDS

The other day I saw something that surprised me. A friend of mine had a Halloween party and he posted tons of photos from it.

I hadn’t been invited. What the…

The truth is: if he had invited me I would not have gone. I don’t want to go to a Halloween party. But why didn’t he invite me?

I wondered…maybe I think he’s my friend but he doesn’t. It’s not like I have EVER called him and said, “let’s hang out.”

For the past ten years I’ve let him do the calling and once every 2 or 3 years I’d meet him for breakfast.

Maybe I need to be more proactive about calling friends, asking them to lunch, spending time with them.

I said to Kamal the other day, man it’s been like three weeks since I last saw you. And he said, James! It’s been three months!

Sometimes it’s like I fall into a black hole and when I finally come out it’s as if all of my friends disappeared in the nuclear holocaust.

Well, is your brother still in town? Let’s all get together.

James! Naval was here for a month! He left two weeks ago.

Usually I pick up the phone and I think, well…I want to write first before I call anyone. I have to be disciplined. And then at night it’s too late. And I like to go to bed early. And then the next day it starts over.

And then I think people don’t like me and so I don’t call them.

 

G) TAKE CHESS LESSONS

I used to be really good. And then I went from really good to pretty good. Now I’d like to get back in shape again with chess.

But isn’t it a waste of time? Isn’t it just a game? Shouldn’t I be starting a virtual reality science fiction venture capital fund and writing a movie about it?

Ugh. I don’t know! OK, I’ll take chess lessons next week.

One thing I know: whenever I get obsessed with chess it’s when I’m unhappy with some other part of my life. Chess = Change for me.

Like in high school, guess who wasn’t talking to girls? I was really unhappy about that. Hence, I was the high school champ of my state.

[See also: How To Master Any Game]

H) QUIT

I want to not do anything. People always say “get out of your comfort zone.” Nothing wrong with the comfort zone. It’s comfortable there. It hurts to go outside of it.

Hell, I love the Couch Zone. Just lying on the couch and reading. I read a 900 page novel the other day. Now there’s a part 2 and a part 3. I want to read those also. You can only read those if you stay in the Couch Zone, which is a small part of the Comfort Zone.

I want to watch a lot of TV also. I feel like I’m behind.

But if I quit, people will forget me. I’m afraid of that. Part of me has that gene that wants to be remembered and have impact.

I almost want to die and really disappear so I don’t have to worry about virtual disappearing any more.

It’s stupid to feel this way and I know it. But that’s part of why I don’t quit. Because then where will I be and what will I do.

Anyway, enough about me. I hope your day went well.

Goodbye Josie. Call me back when you have a minute. Love you.

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What Are Some Ugly Truths?

I got divorced because when you’re young you don’t realize that love changes.

People want to think: someone is at fault. I usually think that about people, “It’s his fault for sure.”

But people change.

People grow older and maybe they change their interests and passions.

Love changes when one person loses a lot of money and causes stress that two young people never knew how to deal with alone, and certainly not with another.

Love changes when a child is born.

The most important career advice I can ever give someone: when you or your spouse becomes pregnant, start seeing a marriage counselor to understand the changes that will occur in your relationship.

“But seriously, do you have career advice?”

That’s the ugly truth: that’s the best career advice I can ever give.

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You eat like crap until you’re 45. Give or take a decade. This is an ugly truth.

I didn’t realize this until I was 40. Maybe 45. I’m 48 now.

When I was in my 20s I ate pancakes for breakfast. McRibs for lunch. And, fuck it, McRibs for dinner. With extra fries. Why not?

When I was in my 30s I usually had pancakes with bacon. We’d meet for Scrabble at 6am and play for two hours until I was sure the kids were gone.

I’d order another bacon if I ran out.

For lunch, I’d have pizza. For dinner I’d have pasta.

And when I turned 40 I started to gain weight. Somebody pointed at me, “look at your gut” and it was embarrassing.

So I stopped eating.

It turns out that scientific studies show zero foods are good for you.

Brussel sprouts? Too many carbs. Kale? Only tastes good with something called Agave (too sweet) all over it.

Chicken? You’ll grow breasts if you’re a guy and get irregular periods if you’re a woman. Steak? Somehow the stress they felt when their head was cut off released hormones that you are eating.

You can’t eat anything. I eat basically nothing now and then I’m too tired to move by mid-day so I try to eat Avocado but my 14 year old nutritionist, Mollie Altucher, tells me “Why eat fat? It’s called fat for a reason!”

So I eat fruits (“sugars”) and then I eat a little fish (but not the kinds with too much mercury or the kinds that are really insects pretending to be fish).

I eat chicken fetus. Or whatever they pretend “egg” is.

I’m also a believer in intermittent fasting, which is the “real” paleo diet.

Our ancestors didn’t sit down at tables with forks and knives and eat three scheduled meals a day. They ate when they found food.

Our DNA is EXACTLY the same as our ancestors. The only thing is: we have a non-stop supply of sugar now and they didn’t. So we can’t stop eating sugar all day long.

So that’s why the average person in the US is now obese.

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Money is for freedom. Not for goods.

When I first made money I bought the biggest apartment in NYC. I needed a ladder to get to my comic books.

I invested in a lot of bad startups. I took helicopters to Atlantic City and would gamble for 48 hours straight while drunk.

I had never had money before in my life.

I paid for my own college. I struggled through jobs. And I worked 22 hours a day at my company before I sold it.

So when I sold my first business it magnified everything inside of me. I was still a shy, insecure, little boy trying to prove he was smart and worthy of other people’s attention.

ME!

I was very stupid and very bad things happened. When I look at the photo I start to get nervous and I feel my hands shake a little.

I finally sold it when I had nothing left.

Money is not about material goods. It only magnifies who you already are inside as a person.

I want to be creative. I value freedom. And friendship. Let money magnify that.

Remembering how I learned that is painful for me right now. Rest in peace, dad.

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The world never really changes. Only you and I change.

Since I was four:

• We’re still in some sort of cold war with whatever has replaced the Soviet Union.
• Extreme Muslims and Extreme Whatevers still hate each other (still Isreal / Palestine, Iran / US, etc etc)
• Taxes never solve deficits.
• Healthcare costs have risen every year faster than inflation since 1977.
• Tuitions (and student loan debt) has risen every year faster than inflation since 1977.
• Personal debt across the US has risen every year.
• America now has military bases in 100 countries. What 8 year old foreigner will be dead next because of the US? Because that 8 year old currently is alive right now. With a mommy.
• We’ve had a Republican, a Republican, a Democrat, a Republican, a Republican, a Democrat, a Republican, a Democrat – since I was a little kid.
• Innovation is through the roof. But innovation is all done by private companies.
• When I look for hope, I don’t look at a government. I look at advances in medicine, Internet, genomics, artificial intelligence, communication, transportation, etc. I hope innovation will outpace the government’s inability to help us in any way.

I see people around me every four years thinking that their lives will finally change once their favorite superhero gets elected. And then two years later they admit how disappointed they are.

This never changes. This is not about a candidate. I have two daughters. I know the candidate that will inspire them the most.

No problem. It’s all a shit show for our virtual reality overlords.

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I often outsource my self-esteem to other people. A romantic partner, a boss, social media, etc.

Here, take it. Validate my self-worth ticket.

I know I wrote a book called “Choose Yourself.” It’s a book about not outsourcing your self-esteem to anyone.

I wrote it because it’s really hard for me to not want some validation from people. But I try every day. Basically, I wrote the book I wanted to read.

That’s the ugly truth about every book ever written.

RELATED: I Made A Mistake (And Bought Too Many Books)

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At Starbucks this morning I was waiting for my coffee and I saw something that made me really happy.

A woman next to me was tapping and waiting and tapping and texting on her phone on social media.

Some people say social media is horrible. That we should just enjoy looking around. “Be comfortable with yourself!”

I don’t believe this.

Society is so busy, so fasterfasterfaster. The headlines are so violent and sad.

Sometimes social media is a good little break. Sometimes I like a break. I don’t need to be disconnected.

Cats! Beautiful people! My friend from 35 years ago had a baby! I used to ride my bike by her house so I could spy on her. I still love her but I guess she has a baby now.

I looked at the woman texting back and forth with someone. Non-stop texting. I wanted to know who she was texting with.

Then the woman started to smile. The edge of her mouth curled upwards. It kept getting wider. It was that smile. You know the one.

The moment right before someone kisses you.

Not every truth is ugly.

Related reading: The One Thing I Wish I Knew In My 20’s

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Ep. 190: Jon Macks – The Gut Decision That Lasts A Lifetime

 

JOKE

Last night I wrote down six things I wanted to do today. I kept number six blank.

“JOKE” was just a reminder to start this post with a joke from Jon Macks…

“If you live in Florida, ya know, God’s waiting room…”

“If you’re Jewish, like me…”

Those are just a few lines from my interview with Jon Macks. He was the top writer for “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno.

He wrote 100 jokes a day. That’s half a million in 20 years.

He’s written jokes for President Obama, Bill Clinton, John Kerry and monologues for Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Rock… and wrote the hilarious book, “Monologue: What Makes America Laugh Before Bed.”

But before comedy, Jon did political consulting.

“I realized I could do one thing 300 nights a year: politics or perform. And I chose politics.” He transitioned to comedy. And reached the heights of a dream career.I wanted to know his secret.

I also wanted to know how to be funny…

1. Association Joke:

I asked Jon how to run for Congress. “Anti-Washington, anti-establishment is what’s working right now,” he said.

I’m not running for Congress.

But, the night of this interview, I went to an open mic. So I ran some headlines by Jon. And he wrote jokes on the spot.

Headline: “Trump Refuses To Say He’ll Accept Election Results”

Jon: “The Toronto Blue Jays lost yesterday. They’re refusing to accept the fact that the Cleveland Indians are going to the world series.”

This is an association joke. You look at what else is happening. Then marry the two.

2. Rule of 3’s:

This is Billy Crystals joke: “Donald Trump reminds me a lot of hurricane season. He starts out with a lot of hot air, spins out of control, by the first week of November he’s completely gone.”

The rule of 3’s is this: Set up your joke. Start with a fact or an idea. Then expand on the idea by listing three qualities. The third is usually unexpected. That’s your punchline.

3. Look for the oddity

Jon said, “Most normal people—and I put comics as ‘not normal’—most normal people walk into a room and go, ‘This looks like a great party.’” But a comic asks questions.

“Who shouldn’t be here?” “Why are they serving bacon cheeseburgers at a Jewish event?”

Go beyond business as usual. Look for the oddity… in contracts, your conversations, your habits.

Try to find the light in life’s eccentricities. Or the bull… in shit.

4. Find “your kind of people” and bring them together

Every day, I practice what I call “emotional health.” I spend time with people who lift me up. And I try to lift them up, too. Not with words. But with interests. We hold space for each other. And leave room for the juice in our brain to squeeze out. It’s a different kind of lemonade, but it’s ours. And we like it. That’s all that matters.

Seinfeld calls comedians “his type of people.” As if they have different brains than everyone else. So I asked Jon, “What is it? What is the comedian?”

He said, “A comic will go on stage and either say something we haven’t thought of, or something we all thought of in a way that is really unique, funny and brings us all together.”

5. Move forward

Jon was traveling about 250 nights a year doing campaigns. His third kid was just born. And he had a choice: be a dad or “be someone calling in once a week.”

Lots of people make this choice. Money is involved. Fulfillment is a factor. The stress of making the “right” versus the “wrong” decision.

Jon went with his gut.

“I figured I’d take a break from political consulting, and I never went back.”

He had a 13-week contract with Jay Leno. That turned into a lifetime…

Before podcasting and writing, I worked on Wall Street. When everything crashed, I fed people chocolate.

I wanted to bring people together.

Maybe that’s number six.

 

Links and Resources:

• Read “Monologue: What Makes America Laugh Before Bed” by Jon Macks
• Read “How To Be Funny: The One and Only Practical Guide for Every Occasion, Situation, and Disaster (no kidding)” by Jon Macks
• Follow Jon on Twitter

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Photo Credit: Pamela Sisson

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Also mentioned:

• Fark.com
• “Behind the Curtain” by Dave Berg
• “The War for Late Night: When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy” by Bill Carter
• “The Late Shift: Letterman, Leno, and the Network Battle for the Night” by Bill Carter

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All I Want To Do Is Play

Try this with me. I’m doing it.

Play outside your house every single day.

For instance, some of the things I’ve done this past week: bowling, air hockey, an escape room, chess in the park, tennis.

Some things I have booked: rifle range, archery, basketball.

Sometimes I feel like I have no time to play. I have to do THIS or THAT! But there’s always a tiny bit of time, hidden somewhere – an empty pocket, a secret room in your head.

Benefits:

• I forget about time. I lose myself in the play.
• I get exercise.
• I have fun. Fun is better than not-fun.
• I make friends.
• I use my brain.
• I increase my sense of aim (note: basketball, bowling, pool, ping pong, etc all improve this basic skill we all need: balance/ aim)
• I forget about my problems. I got 99 problems but PLAY ain’t one.
• I leave my house. Else I’m trapped here just doing the same routine.
• We’re natural nomads, not meant to stay in one routine every day.
• I have to get creative to do a different play thing every day.
• I get smarter at getting good at new things.
• Boost my happy neurochemicals that feed reward and pleasure.
• I’m 48 years old. Reminds me every day how to be a kid again.
• Reverses aging a tiny bit. Or at least makes aging more fun.

I went to an escape room yesterday.

People gather (you probably won’t know the others), you are given a mission, and there are clues all over the room (secret codes, puzzles, locks that have to be unlocked, bombs that have to be disarmed, etc) and you have 60 minutes to solve them.

One of the clues in the escape room (the mission: prevent the assassination of JFK) was a chessboard (see attached).

White moves and has a forced mate in 2. I solved it. Magnets under the chessboard opened up a secret room in the wall once the checkmate was on the board.

Everyone high-fived me. I didn’t know any of them. I felt great. I felt like I had accomplished something. I didn’t need a billion dollars to feel that way.

I can feel that way every day. It will boost all my neurochemicals. It will make me see things as not as important as they are. Because I can ESCAPE.

You are looking for answers on what to do with your life.

Trust me: the clues will be found and solved when your mind is playing. Or shooting arrows at a target. Or writing a secret novel on the train.

I’m going to try and do this for 30 straight days. And hopefully…for the next 6000 days after that.

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Related Reading: 10 Things I Did During The Worst Year Ever

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How Dylan Stole The Nobel Prize And You Can Too

My friend said to me, “He shouldn’t have won.” Are you serious? Who even cares.

But also…I’m an idiot. I didn’t know something.

He wrote, “All Along the Watchtower.” I had no idea.

I was using a relatively unknown website to do my research. Wikipedia. It’s about 60% accurate so I double-checked.

I thought Jimi Hendrix wrote “All Along the Watchtower.” Didn’t he? Triple-check. Nope.

Had I heard the Dylan version? I tried to remember. Nope.

I HAVE, though, listened to the best version of this song. I’ve listened to it maybe 500 times.

It makes my heart race. I want to be on an adventure when I hear it. I want to leave behind the Machine and be the thief and steal my life back.

The version is the Battlestar Galactica one.

Unfortunately the scene itself is no longer on YouTube (maybe Hulu?). But the version of the song that comes from the show is on it.

Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ0HrilX0Vw

I looked up the critics from when Dylan first wrote the song. “The lyrics make no sense,” said one guy. “The song means nothing,” said the other.

Whoever wrote that song is not going to accept an award.

This is why he won the Nobel Prize. And why he won’t accept it.

Let’s take a little ride:

There must be some way out of here” said the joker to the thief.
“There’s too much confusion”, I can’t get no relief

First off: why a joker and a thief? Who are the truth tellers in an ancient kingdom?

The joker, who is hired (and often beheaded) specifically to tell the truth to the king.

And the thief, who breaks free from serfdom. Makes his own path in life.

Everyone else bows down to monarchy, bureaucracy, corporatism. Everyone is afraid to break the rules. Me too.

Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth

None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.

People need money to taste a tiny bit of freedom. The material things: who knows. It’s pretentious to judge.

I’m reading most of this morning. Then a friend coming over. Then more reading and maybe writing. And maybe TV. My day.

I should feel free regardless of money. That said, I’m not that special. I feel money buys me some freedom.

I wish I had the confidence of the thief but perhaps I am still the joker.

No reason to get excited”, the thief he kindly spoke

“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate. So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.

The thief is ultimately superior to the joker. He is COMPLETELY outside the system. He takes what he wants. he doesn’t have to joke to state his opinion.

Unlike the joker, the thief sees all life as a joke. He is truly free.

What does the thief need?

• FREEDOM. To realize personal freedom is the most selfless way to live. Everything else is ego. To think you know what others wants.
• SAFETY. Needs to know how to mitigate risk in dangerous situations. Don’t go to where the attack dogs are. They are the toxic people who will bring you down.
• CHARISMA. Understand that people act on their own agendas. Don’t let their agendas interfere with yours.
• ESCAPE PLAN. The last job I had was in 1997. For the prior 18 months every day I worked on my escape plan until I jumped. Scared. I cried the next day. But I did it.
• HEALTH. Energy = freedom.
• CREATIVITY. I’m lost often. Creativity helps clear the fog.

When I write this I think, I’m not good enough. I’m lacking in some of these things.

Please let me get better. Every day I promise I will try.

The thief recognizes the joker as a kindred spirit but not quite an equal.

Most of society is filled with the civilians. But he can spot the other thieves. The ones who value freedom.

So he slaps the joker. “Let us not talk falsely now.”

Dreams are not meant to be taught. They are meant to be lived.

And…”The hour is getting late.”

The thief values safety. Always. Freedom is found not in the taking of risks (it’s far more risky to have a 9-5 job). Freedom is found by removing risks.

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view

While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

The watchtower is NOT to look outwards to see who is coming.

It is the prison where the princes keep their “women” and “servants” locked inside. Where the princes are also trapped behind bars.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl

Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.

I read some criticism of this line. The critics couldn’t figure out who the “two riders” were. Of course it’s obvious.

It’s the joker and the thief. The biggest dangers to the rules of society.

So many BS articles and books are about “the rules”. How do I find my passion? How do I find success? These are scams. Those are simply the rules to stay in prison.

The course about building courses to make courses that certify course-builders. Maintenance fee please.

And then there are the excuses. Well, I loved doing X, but now I have to do Y because I have to pay the mortgage.

I get it. These are scary things. I went broke paying a mortgage. I paid back a ton of student loan debt. I was stuck in the bureaucracy. I was afraid all the time.

It’s always scary when you wear handcuffs and have bars on your windows.

It’s hard to step outside (the watchtower) and ask, ‘why did we need rules in the first place?’

Be skeptical of everything. Of every rule. Of every way to be ‘better.’

The thief doesn’t worry about life hacks. He is living life.

Bob Dylan stole the Nobel Prize and laughs at them. So what?

I want to be him.

---

Related reading: How to be THE LUCKIEST GUY ON THE PLANET in 4 Easy Steps

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How Do You Find The Right Path?

I got lost the one time I went hiking. Then it started raining. It was on my birthday. 19 years ago. I fell and twisted my ankle.

About an hour later I found a road. I was soaking wet. I went to a restaurant and sat by a fire. Then took a train home. I was limping.

I had to work that night: interviewing drug dealers, etc.

I went to college for computer science. Then I went to graduate school for computer science. Then I got a job as a computer programmer. Then another one. Then another one. And finally another one.

I was on the wrong path the entire time.

My brother in law was going broke. He had a business making CD-ROMs. (What?). I showed him the Internet. I showed him how to start building websites for other people.

While I was doing that I was also pitching a TV show. I go to sleep early so I always wonder – who are the people out at 3 in the morning? So I started interviewing drug dealers, criminals, and others.

With my brother in law, we started charging a lot of money to do websites. $75,000 to make a 3 page website about Dennis Miller. What a joke.

And HBO gave me money to shoot a pilot which they ultimately rejected.

So my brother in law and I created a company, Reset, to do websites. We did the websites for the movies “Scream” and “The Matrix.”

We did the websites for the Wu-Tang Clan. We did the website for Miramax Films. For New Line Films. For Time Warner. For Bad Boy Records. For Interscope Records.

We did 100’s of websites. One time we did a website for fun. We invited a professional dominatrix and a professional submissive to come over to our photo studio. We had them dress in lingerie and bring their extensive collection of shoes.

While they were changing in and out of their clothes, my sister and I interviewed them. We made a website out of it.

That website helped us get the business of other creative websites.

I was on the wrong path though.

I hated having clients call me up in the middle of the night and yell at me. Who were they? Who were they to yell at me when I was working so hard?

We sold the business.

I started a wireless software company. My pitch: first there was the Internet, now there is the “wireless Internet.” I was right. But ten years early.

We got a lot of investors. $30 million worth. Then another $30 million. Yasser Arafat (secretly – I didn’t know until his death) invested. Many famous investors invested.

I was on the wrong path.

I got fired as CEO. Then my shares were taken from me. I got depressed for two years and didn’t leave my house.

I decided to go my own way. I didn’t need anyone else. I read 100’s of books on investing. I wrote software to model the stock market.

I day traded every day and was making money. Other people gave me money to invest. I wrote out 100’s of emails every day to people begging them to invest.

After awhile I had a good track record and many people began to invest.

I built up a good hedge fund. Then a “fund of hedge funds.” So people could invest with me and I would help them find other funds to invest in. I was doing well.

I was on the wrong path.

The markets were starting to fall apart even as early as 2006. The market would suddenly go down 30% and then pop up. I couldn’t handle the enormous stress. So I shut it down.

After that, I decided to get back to my roots. The World Wide Web! WWW.

I started an internet company called Stockpickr. Just to date it, I called it “The MySpace of Finance.” And it was!

We built up to millions of users a month. We sold out all the advertising space. We were profitable mostly because there was just two of us.

We sold just four months after our official launch. I thought I was DONE.

I lost everything. The financial market crashed right when I bought a house. This is now called an “Altucher Cocktail” and you pour it for people to make them go broke.

I was on the wrong path.

I’ve written 18 books. I wrote fiction. Business. Personal Improvement. Humor. I’m about to come out with a children’s book.

I’ve pitched TV shows. Reality shows. Scripted shows.

I’ve run venture capital funds. Hedge funds. I’ve worked for investment banks. I’ve sold companies to other companies many times.

I was on the wrong path.

I’ve been married. Divorced. Married. Divorced.

I’ve thrown out everything I own. Even an animation cel from “I Dream of Jeannie’s” opening segment. I loved it. Gone.

The wilderness is easy to get lost in. There are many paths. At night there are howls in the wind and I probably get more afraid than I should be.

In the day I explore but sometimes I feel as if I’m totally invisible.

When I am in the middle of something, I think, “This can be the right path – I love this.”

But often then it’s the wrong path.

I’m having the best time in my life. And I always have. I am living the way of the wanderer.

Right or wrong, I will never know. The way of the wanderer is to explore, not knowing in advance right or wrong. The wanderer is excited for the next adventure.

Today I’m going to go down my path.

---

Related reading: The 100 Rules for Being an Entrepreneur

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Ep. 189: Chuck Klosterman – But What If We’re Wrong?

Photo credit: Pamela Sisson

I can’t tell you the secret to selling half a million books. Or half a million anything…

Every day, business changes, the world shifts on its axis and your skin peels off a little bit. New cells are generated and with each blink, your eyes are rehydrated.

“I’ll admit, if there was some formula, I’d do it again,” he said.

Without new experiences, your soul rots. And your book or product or whatever you’re trying to get rich quick off of smells like garbage.

But people will buy garbage. Because we want new experiences. Ask any child. They’ll give you an honest answer of why they like coloring or skipping rope.

“I don’t know… It’s fun?”

People wonder what they love. Instead of loving to wonder.

Chuck Klosterman grew up in a town of 500 people. He became the number one literary critique of pop culture… before the Internet. Now anyone can research anything. And you don’t have to own the Encyclopedia Britannica. Or wait for the library to be open.

A lot of people I’ve interviewed say there’s a big luck factor to success… “But I don’t think that’s as true with you,” I told Chuck.

He doesn’t believe in luck.

“The biggest factor is chance,” he said.

“What’s the difference between chance and luck?”

Luck:

“Luck almost implies like a leprechaun or somebody is making this happen.”

“In many ways, it seems like certain people are luckier than others,” he said. “I think what that really means is that when they were given chances, they elected to pursue them, as opposed to step away from them. And that kind of creates the illusion of luck.”

Luck is an open door. Chance is the willingness to step through.

When I feel stuck, I don’t create a new business overnight. I begin with a pen and a waiter’s pad. I carve out a new perspective. I write 10 ideas.

Whether the ideas are good doesn’t matter.

Reinvention, freedom and success are the results of movements.

Not the “right movements.” Just movements. Unattached, meaningless movements that hopefully fill your day and fuel your heart.

“Everything I’ve liked, I liked in totality,” Chuck said. “I wanted to almost be inside of it.”

Focus on nothing. Or everything. Let life reveal itself to you. Then you won’t need luck. Because you’ll have something much more valuable: perspective.

Skill:

When he started, Chuck needed motivation to write. Now he’s a dad. And he writes every day. “I make myself do it,” he said.

His first job was with the local newspaper in Fargo. He wrote a 16-page insert called “Rage,” meant to address Generation X.

“At the time, my hope was that, maybe, if I do a good job as a reporter and I put in the time, I’d be able to publish a book, or maybe two books in my 50s or something.”

He thought he’d work as a reporter who might have the ability or the luck or the chance…

Chance:

“There were 23 kids in my graduating class. I remember the teacher would ask questions. And nobody would say anything,” Chuck said.

But he knew the answers.

He thought everyone knew. “I just assumed everyone growing up felt this way—everybody felt very singular and alone. You had this world inside your mind. And there was the world outside of yourself where you just kind of goofed around, talked to people, and made small talk, but in your mind you had your own kind of world.”

Then Chuck went to college. “I was amazed to find a handful of people who were just like me, who listened to Mötley Crüe but also wanted to talk about it, and didn’t just want to say, ‘It rocked.’”

Connection changes your mental identity from alone to alive.

Chuck’s second book, “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs” sold half a million copies—more than his other eight books combined.

“The only perspective I have is my own,” Chuck said. “There is the conscious experience, then there is the unconscious experience. Some of those merge when I’m writing.”

Mystery…

Chuck’s latest book asks a hypothetical question that no one will know the answer to for hundreds or thousands of years: “But What If We’re Wrong?”

He explores art, music, science, physics, the nature of reality, and who will matter in the future.

“Aristotle was one of the first people to have an idea about what gravity was. His idea was that rocks don’t float because rocks want to be on the ground, that they have agency. They long to be on the ground because they want to be at the center of the universe, and, at the time, it was believed that Earth was the center of the universe.”

This was believed for roughly 2,000 years. Today’s idea of gravity is from Isaac Newton. Nearly 1,600 years ago.

So…

What if we’re wrong?

My idea of a life well lived could (and probably will) be untrue in 100 years or 10 years. That’s scary.

Or not.

The illusion is up to you.

Links and Resources:

• Read his latest book, “But What If We’re Wrong?: Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past” by Chuck Klosterman
• “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto” by Chuck Klosterman
• “Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story” by Chuck Klosterman
• Read Chuck Klosterman’s first book, “Fargo Rock City: A Heavy Metal Odyssey in Rural North Dakota“
• Follow him on Facebook + Twitter

 

Also mentioned:

• Why Self-Help Guru James Altucher Only Owns 15 Things by New York Times reporter and feature writer, Alex Williams
• “Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture” by Douglas Coupland
• Reality Bites
• Saved By The Bell

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The 40 Books That Saved My Life

Oh my god, another list of books I should read! I can’t help it, though.

These are the books I return to when I need help, guidance, solace in my life.

I’m going to cheat. I’m not going to look at my kindle to see what I’ve read. Forgive me if I get a title or an author’s name wrong.

If I can remember the books, then it means they had some impact on me. If I can’t remember them, then why would I recommend them?

For each one of these books: either they made me a better person, or I felt, even as I was reading them, that my IQ was getting better. Or, in the case of fiction, I felt like my writing was getting better by reading the book.

Or I simply escaped to another world. I like to travel to other worlds. To pretend to be a character in someone else’s story.

I think if you can find even one takeaway in a book that you remember afterwards, then it’s a great book.

Remember: It’s hard to remember more than 1% of a book.

Time is the ultimate judge of wisdom. How you bounce back from misery and despair in order to thrive. I hope I learned that from these books.

1. “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankl
2. “Antifragile” by Nassim Taleb (and “The Black Swan” and “Fooled by Randomness” by him)
3. “Tiny Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed
4. “Master of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz
5. “Anything You Want” by Derek Sivers
6. “Mindset” by Carol Dweck
7. “Between the World and Me” by Ta-Nehisi Coates
8. “Sapiens” by Yuval something.
9. “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz
10. “Old Man and the Sea” by Ernest Hemingway
11. “Jesus’ Son” by Denis Johnson (a collection of short stories, not a religious book)
12. “The Rational Optimist” by Matt Ridley (and the Evolution of Everything by him)
13. “Bold” by Peter D. and Steven Kotler
14. “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell
15. “Peak” by Anders Ericsson
16. “The Surrender Experiment” by Michael Singer (along with The Untethered Soul by him)
17. “Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist” by Stephen Batchelor
18. “Mastery” by Robert Greene
19. “Zero to One” by Peter Thiel
20. “War of Art” by Stephen Pressfield (and “Turning Pro“)
21. “Post Office” by Charles Bukowski
22. “Purple Cow” by Seth Godin
23. “Maus” by Art Spiegelman
24. “On Writing” by Stephen King
25. “How We Got to Now” by Stephen Johnson (and his book on ideas)
26. “Creativity, Inc” by Ed Catmull
27. “Sick in the Head” by Judd Apatow
28. “Born Standing Up” by Steve Martin
29. “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle (and “Practicing the Power of Now” by him)
30. “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
31. “How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World” by Harry Browne
32. “Slaughterhouse Five” by Kurt Vonnegut
33. “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey
34. “To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee
35. “What We Talk About When We talk about Running” by Haruki Murakami
36. “The Stranger” by Albert Camus
37. “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coehlo
38. “The Blue Zones” by Dan Buettner
39. “The New Evolution Diet” by Art Devany
40. “Poking the Dead Frog” by Mike Sacks
41. “Socrates” by Paul Johnson
42. “Small Victories” by Anne Lamott
43.  “Meet Your Happy Chemicals” by Lorette Breuning

Ugh, I’m not even halfway done. And I’m past 40 books.

When I read any of these books, I feel like a vampire. Like I’m sucking all of the blood out of the author. I’m stealing his soul and consuming it.

Thank you, author, for giving me your soul. For giving me immortality.
That’s why reading is great. It’s like I’ve lived 100s of lives as well as just my own.

One of these days someone will eat my soul also. I hope I have enough seasoning to taste good.

---

What’s one book you’d add to this list?

There’s something you should know…

I recently bought too many books…usually that’s a good thing. This time it wasn’t.

I’ll tell you what happened here and how you can take advantage of me.

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I Just Binge-Watched Every Bill Murray Movie and This is…

Jimmy Kimmel said to Bill Murray: It seems like you just do whatever you want. That life is spontaneous. You go with the flow and great things happen to you all the time.

Bill Murray said: Gilda Radner was rich so she would go into these auditions and not care at all whether she got them. So they were so dazzled by her lack of caring they would be dying to give her the role.

He continued: So I figured, I’m not rich but I’ll just pretend like I am so I won’t care at all and see what happens and I’ve been doing it ever since.

---

Harold Ramis finished college, was trying to figure out his life, and went to play golf with his friends. Bill Murray, with his high school degree, was working the hot dog stand around the 9th hole.

That’s how they met. They did Stripes, Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, and other movies together.

Ramis said, “When you find the smartest person in the room, stand next to him. I stood next to Bill Murray.”

---

I just binge-watched a bunch of Bill Murray movies: Stripes, Meatballs, Caddyshack, Lost in Translation, Ghostbusters, Broken Flowers.

He takes reality and translates it into truth. I want to be so broken I find meaning.

I want to be Bill Murray. Unafraid.

Here’s a little bit why (some of his quotes):

“It’s hard to be an artist. It’s hard to be anything. It’s hard to be.”

It’s hard to give that extra push. To make every day special. Every interaction important. Every thing you do have impact.

I call this “The Push.”

I know when I can’t get out of bed, when I walk around looking at the ground, when I can barely make small talk, that it’s time for the Push in my life. That I need to reach and grab more.

---

“You die in the improv set five times out of nine. So, once you get over your fear of dying, nothing else ever really scares you”

People always tell me, “Oh, you can’t worry about what people think.”

And then I repeat it. Because I know it sounds good. But it’s hard to not worry what people think. I guess I do it more than I admit.

How do you achieve it?

You have to actually be bad. You have to actually die. You have to actually fail over and over again, until you realize it’s not the end of the world.

Great evidence: How many people have seen “The Razor’s Edge”…the movie Bill Murray did right before he did “Ghostbusters.”

---

“If you make others look good, you’ll look good.”

Bill Murray says this is the secret to his success.

He started out in improv. He didn’t try to make himself stand out and look the best. He was on stage with John Belushi, Dan Akroyd, and others who went on to enormous fame.

He just tried to make them look good. And he kept moving up the ladder of success as a result.

---

“If I see someone who’s out cold on their feet, I’m going to try to wake that person up. It’s what I’d want someone to do for me. Wake me the hell up and come back to the planet.”

Bill Murray walks up to a man on the street who is smoking.

Bill takes the cigarette out of the man’s mouth, take a puff, and then gives it back to the man. Says, “Nobody is going to believe you when you tell them this,” and then walks away.

Bill Murray views all life as an opportunity to squeeze a bit more juice out of it by improvising on that moment.

And why not? Else it’s just like reading lines off of a script.

---

“The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.”

There’s an entire science around the clutch moment in sports.

If you are tense, your muscles constrict. You won’t do as well. If you are relaxed, you can play at your optimal level.

The same goes for our emotional muscles. In all of Bill Murray’s movies, he comes across as if nothing phases him.

When I go to a social event, I am nervous. When I go to give a talk, I’m nervous. Or on a date. Or to a meeting.

Now that I’ve binge-watched Bill I’m going to pretend to be him.

---

“I live a little bit on the seat of my pants, I try to be alert and available…for life to happen to me. We’re in this life, and if you’re not available, the sort of ordinary time goes past and you didn’t live it. But if you’re available, life gets huge. You’re really living it.”

This is about observation. Don’t look at the ground when you walk.

He takes his daily life and turns it into improv. Into art.

---

“I realized the more fun I had, the more relaxed I was working, the better I worked.”

How does one get relaxed? Play.

The other day I went bowling. Then air hockey. For about two hours I never even once thought about anything going on in my life.

It was great. Then I went home and paid my taxes.

---

“This is not a dress rehearsal, this is your life.”

One time I had a 9-5 job. I go in, do my work, go home. Wake up the next day. Repeat.

How long can you do that before real life begins?

Eventually, I had to leave the job. I’m not saying this is good or bad. But it’s what I had to do.

Things have been so volatile since then. But I love the stories I’ve collected. Makes it worth it.

(RELATED: How To Quit Your Job The Right Way)

---

“It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.”

Friends talk. Lovers kiss. Idiots argue. Nobody wins in an argument.

By the way, friends and lovers often turn into idiots.

Bill Murray is known for cutting out, immediately, any one toxic in his life.

---

“It’s really powerful to say ‘No’; it’s really the most powerful thing you can say.”

We live in this FOMO world – fear of missing out.

Bill Murray has turned down the starring roles for movies like Batman, Forrest Gump, Splash, Awakenings.

He was considered for the Han Solo role in Star Wars!

He was going to be the lawyer in Philadelphia (instead of Denzel Washington)!

The movies he’s said “no” to have grossed billions.

Do we care? Does he care? If you stick with the things you love, be with the people you love, and say no to the rest, everything takes care of itself.

Ignore anyone who tries to steal joy from you.

---

All of the quotes above are from Bill. But this next one is a line he says in Groundhog Day:

“I’ve killed myself so many times I don’t even exist anymore.”

The movie Groundhog Day changed my life. I can’t really explain why.

We do have the opportunity to live the same day over and over again but life fools us into thinking it’s a new day.

After living the same day for 30,000 days in a row, maybe one day I’ll be good at life, fall in love, save the world.

In the meantime, I just want to be good at being Bill Murray.

Related Reading: Why Today Is The Day You Have To Reinvent Yourself

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When A Secret Band Of Bloggers Gathered To Save The World

I remember it like it was the day before yesterday or maybe even the day before that.

A band of us, a feisty group of us. A group of never-do-wells. A group.

The world was in trouble. And we decided it was time to pool our resources and together save the world.

This was in 2007, or perhaps 2009. Or somewhere in the middle.

Climate change was ripping apart the core of the planet. An election was tearing apart the emotional fabric of a nation. ATM machines only dispensed tears. Danger was like a knife lying randomly on the sidewalk and anyone could pick it up.

I was getting a divorce.

We were bloggers, all of us. And with that came a sense of moral responsibility to do something about the planet we all decided to call “HOME.”

CB, GV, TF, TM, JS, PG, GD, and a host of others. Brothers and sisters in arms.

Whether it was typepad, or blogger, or wordpress, or even the new “micro-” blogging service that was sweeping the nation.

We knew our voices, united as one, would rise above the cacophony of malaise that was creating a pool of vomit the rest of the world was swimming in.

“We need a catch phrase,” someone said. Maybe CB, maybe SG. Maybe GV. Who knows? At this point, history is written by the ones with the largest Instagram following.

How about, I said, Be the somebody that makes everybody else feel like a somebody.

Hmmm, people said in that way that people “hmmm” when they don’t really like it but they are trying to be nice.

“Pick yourself,” said another.

“Choose yourself,” said me.

“Hustle now or Muscle later,” said my good friend and lover ____

“Be the change you want to see in the world,” said Gandhi, but repeated by S or G or T, which is OK because A said to steal from the best.

WAIT!

We all turned. It was the person who now, in retrospect, had assumed the role of being our leader.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “An inspirational phrase is like 40 mg of Adderral. It has a half life of 10 hours and then wears off. It will do nothing. People don’t pay attention. They just feel good for a little while.”

“I have an idea,” said, again, my lover. “How about we all take pictures of ourselves looking at our phones and put an inspirational phrase on top of it.”

“That’s great,” said CB. “But we have to be in different places. Like looking at our phone on a private plane, on a basketball court, while shopping to bake a cake, while swimming in the Maldives.”

And we all have to do it every 24 hours. To keep the world spinning. The temperature is already one degree hotter since we started this meeting in our private bunker.

The reality is: we were in a sweat lodge. All of us were naked. Our muscles rippling from one body to the next like “The Wave” in the stadium at a college volleyball game.

Bloggers are known for being ripped. For being shredded. Sliced. Jacked. I had a prime number of abs.

I don’t agree, I said. Why can’t we just be honest

“Why can’t we all get along!!” said RK.

Seriously, I said. Life is pretty hard. It’s a cruel joke and our job is to find the punchline.

That’s a great one! someone said, jotting it down.

After that, I got dressed. I was pretty scared. In a risky move for me, I had already used my Debit Card five times that day.

Every time it said “Approved” I felt good about myself.

It was the only approval I was getting that year, but it always felt like the charge machine was taking an extra second or two and then reluctantly saying, “Just barely.”

Everyone was still arguing when I left. I don’t think they noticed I was gone. I went home to write.

Since then, the planet has gotten cooler. Happiness levels have risen higher than ever seen before. The world is incredibly wealthy. And love is in the air.

I’m grateful today.

You’re welcome.

---

Related reading: How To Publish A Bestseller: Publishing 3.0 

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Ep. 188: Doug Casey – 5 Lessons From The Most Interesting Human in The Matrix

“I know you’ve made tens of millions of dollars in various areas of life,” I said. “Tell me how you did it.”

“Hmm.”

He scanned his memory for money.

And landed in 1969. “I put all my possessions in the back of my Mustang and drove to Washington, D.C. I figured if I got $5,000, I could hitchhike my way through South America… but more importantly, Africa.”

There are about 220 countries on the planet. Doug Casey has been to 160.

“I believe in the Latin phrase, ‘Mens sana in corpore sano.’”

“Sound mind, sound body…”

“It means you actually have to go out and do this crap. You have to do it.”

“Why?”

“Because maybe you’ll find out the meaning of life.”

A) Don’t be a plant

“Unfortunately, most people are born in one place and then live in or near that place for the rest of their lives acting like plants, but I don’t think acting like a plant is a good survival strategy for a human.”

B) Create your own currency

Everybody says the Federal Reserve printed money. And devalued the dollar.

Everybody’s wrong.

I asked Doug, “What do people mean when they say the Federal Reserve printed money? I think there’s a common misconception around this.”

His answer: they buy assets and credit back the banks. They don’t physically print money. And they don’t create value.

Doug goes places, meets people, asks them to do things either with him or for him.

He values the people he’s met, the money he’s made/lost and the lessons he’s learned.

Honor your experiences.

Money isn’t the currency of life. Living is the currency of life.

C) Where do good ideas come from?

They say you need to see/hear something at least seven times to remember it. I don’t know who said that. I wish I could say it was Ogilvy.

I’ve talked about idea sex 100 times. Here’s 101.

Good ideas are like babies. Each one is new to the world. (Unless we’re living in “The Matrix”… skip to [23:00] for this part of the interview… Even Elon Musk has thought about the likelihood of “reality” actually being “base reality.” The chances are “one in billions,” he said.)

But for now, human babies come from human sex. Sex = creation.

And it’s the same for ideas.

Take two ideas. Combine them. Now you have a new idea. Repeat. This is idea sex.

“I wanted to be a paleontologist,” Doug said. “Why? Dinosaurs! Every kid likes dinosaurs, but I took it seriously.”

“So, geology background… Then I got interested in money. Put geology and money together and you’ve got the mining business (which is actually a better way to lose money than to make money) but the good news about the mining business is that they’re the most volatile stocks in the world.”

“And still are…”

D) Read science fiction

“It’s a much better predictor of the future than any of the think tanks.”

E) Try new things

I’m writing a children’s book. Doug’s hobby is nothing I’ve ever heard of before. He tried taking over a country.

“Oh yeah,” he said… as if he forgot. “How did I get started in that? Oh yeah, I know what it was.”

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Doug has had 50 lives. He’s dined with presidents, made millions, gone broke, wrote books, traveled to war zones, scuba-dived, practiced martial arts, he owns his own research company. And more.

But the strange part is he seems to string them all along.

Instead of switching from experience to experience, he piles them together. It’s not clean. It’s not organized.

It’s human.

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Links and Resources:

• Read “Speculator (Hight Ground) [Volume 1]” by Doug Casey
• Read “Totally Incorrect: Conversations with Doug Casey” by Doug Casey
• Read #1 New York Times Bestseller, “Crisis Investing: Opportunities and Profits in the Coming Great Depression”
  by Doug Casey
• Visit his website Casey Research Group
• Follow him on Facebook + Twitter

 

Also mentioned:

• “Fail-Safe Investing: Lifelong Financial Security in 30 Minutes” by Harry Browne
• “The Singularity Is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology” by Ray Kurzweil
• Dexter

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I Passed Out Yesterday And This Is What Happened…

I passed out yesterday. We were at a ping pong place and I was talking to a friend of mine when I simply fell to the ground and went unconscious.

We were in the middle of a conversation about health (he’s a physical trainer) and I said something like, “I’m in the best health of my life!”

BOOM!

Then all I remember is vaguely trying to hold onto something. Then the next thing I know, I’ve been unconscious for two minutes and people are standing around me asking me if I’m OK.

I don’t know what was wrong. Maybe I was dehydrated or something.

But I thought to myself: man, this would be a great way to die. I wasn’t aware of anything. No pain.

Then I thought: every time I counted something in my life, was a total waste of my life. All those moments of counting and ranking add up. Your likes add up to nothing when you are dead.

I’ll look at Twitter followers. Or money in bank. Did it go up or down. Or Instagram likes. Or Amazon ranks. Or how many times did she say, “I love you.”

We’re primates so we always put ourselves in a tribe. A tribe is measured from alpha to omega. Counting.

Humans have a huge benefit. We select which tribe we can go into.

Will we go into a corporate job (measured by job title and salary). Will we be pro baseball players? (measured by home runs or stolen bases). Will we be entrepreneurs (measured by sales or growth or whatever).

I played one game of ping pong after I passed out. It was against a much better player (thanks Noah Kagan!) so I was happy to lose but ONLY by four points (21 – 17).

Noah said, “Uh oh, you’re going to talk s**t about this forever, aren’t you.”

Yes, I am.

But still, 21-17. Numbers!

Voting, liking, loving, favoriting, selling. All numbers.

The essence of reinvention is not that that you change from one thing to another.

Reinvention is when you go from doing something disconnected from your true self, to doing something closer to what aligns with the deepest part of you.

When you can do that…counting stops. That’s why we always need to reinvent.

You can’t “think” of what that is. You just have to do it. You won’t know until you get there. Persistence + Love = Reinvention.

When I don’t need to count or rank myself, that’s the arrow that shows me I am going in the right direction.

The less I count today. The happier I will be. The less I depend on what others count, I will be happier. Count on it.

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It’s Easy To Throw Away Rock Star Opportunity

My best friend is missing. Or, at least, I haven’t been able to find him for the past 15 years.

Search engines. Facebook, linkedin. I searched obituaries. The Internet is useless.

I found his brother instead, Matt Fallon (real name: Matt Frankel). Matt was merciless with us when we were young and he was three years older.

We were scared of him all the time and he would smell our fear and punish us accordingly.

Matt was the lead singer of the multi-platinum thrash metal group Anthrax. Then he was the lead singer of the multi-platinum hair metal group Skid Row.

He barely has a social media presence now and isn’t connected at all with my friend. His brother.

Robert called me once when we were 14, “Jon Bon Jovi is over here practicing with Matt.” Everyone was hanging out near their house looking for a peak. The heights of New Jersey Metal.

Both bands pretty quickly threw Matt out right before their huge march to success. The last time I spoke with Robert he said, “Matt’s testing shampoos for J&J.”

Nothing wrong with that. Ironic that a hair metal icon was testing shampoos but things turn out for the best.

I wondered if he was upset how close he was to rock stardom and fell from the kingdom.

Matt wrote some of Anthax’s biggest hits but didn’t get credit. The songs just say, “Written by Anthrax.”

I found an interview with Sleazeroxx. “Did you have any regrets about leaving Anthrax?”

Matt said, “..I was bitter about the way everything went down, so I didn’t really follow them after I left.”

In Skid Row, he was replaced by the now well known Sebastian Bach, who is also famous for singing many of the songs Matt wrote.

Sleazeroxx asked: A little more than a year after you left Skid Row, the group released its self-titled album, which was an instant success. Do you have any regrets in that regard and/or think “that could have been me.”

Matt said: I’d have to say I was a bit jealous when I heard the album for the first time. I guess I can’t really blame the guy for stepping in when he did.

I don’t know what the moral is. Matt got a degree along the way. He’s risen up at the same job but still there 25 years later.

It’s easy to trash the gifts of youth simply because you think the future is infinite.

It’s pretentious for me to give this advice to my kids right now. I need to remember this advice for myself. I am often a mess.

The gardening of opportunity is:

• be humble
• over promise and over deliver
• make friends with the people you work with
• be careful about contracts
• keep learning from every experience
• show up
• have fun

Your value is the sum of your humility, your integrity, and your ability to keep learning.

One of the comments on the Sleazeroxx interview was:

“His real name is Matt Frankel. The truth is that he was such an insufferable a**hole with absolutely no dedication or work ethic that no one could stand working with him.”

Anthrax and Skid Row have sold more than 30 million albums. Albums sold with Matt: zero.

Anyway…I miss my friend.

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Related reading: The One Piece Of Career Advice You Need To Know

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Persuasion Techniques Saved Me $40,000 And A Year Of My Life

I was going to get thrown out of college because I didn’t have enough money and I was stupid.

Each year, I’d borrow enough to get me through another year.

Every summer I stayed at school and took 2-3 courses. This way I could skip my senior year and avoid having to take out more loans.

But I had a problem at the end of the third year. In order to skip a year, you had to maintain a 3.0 grade point average (a “B”).

The bursar’s office told me that I did not have that average so I would not be able to graduate.

Note: the Bursar is the office that collects the money.

Zero people involved in education called me to tell me that I didn’t have enough education. The bill collector called me to tell me I was too stupid to graduate.

I had a week left before graduation day. I had no idea how I’d get another 30 or 40,000 dollars to survive another year. I just would’ve dropped out.

So I went to the professor of my Fortran class. I loved computer science at that point more than anything.

I would get into fake fights with my girlfriend just so I could walk up a hill, unlock the computer science building, use the secret pass code to get into the lab, and just sit there and program all day.

It was a way of communicating with some undiscovered universe where all my secret friends lived.

But I was bad at Fortran, a very specific programming language. I was getting a D- in the class.

The bursar’s office called me and told me I didn’t have the 3.0 GPA, “I’m sorry, but you will not be graduating next week.”

“Well, what is my GPA?

She said, completely deadpan, “2.999”.

“Can’t you round up?”

“No, I’m sorry, sir, we cannot round up.”

Nobody has ever called me “sir” in my entire life and meant it. If the Queen of England called me “Sir!” it would probably because I stole the last deviled egg in a buffet at a royal party.

So I went to the professor of my Fortran class. His name was Nick something. I can’t even remember his last name. The man who had the power to save my life.

I said to him, “Listen. I don’t deserve it. But I love computer science. I’m leaving here to go to graduate school in computer science. I don’t know why I’m not good at Fortran. But they won’t graduate me unless you switch me from a D- to a D+. Can you please do it?”

I didn’t say I deserved the D+. I really did deserve a D-.

Here’s what I did:

• I eliminated the possible counter argument (I admitted that I didn’t deserve it).
• I related on common ground (we both loved computer science. I even wanted to be a professor like him so I was going to graduate school)
• I gave an us-versus-them argument (“they” won’t graduate me)
• I made him a possible accessory to the crime (“I don’t know why
• I’m not good” might mean he’s not a good teacher).
• I gave him a very specific remedy rather than give him homework to come up with one (“switch me from D- to D+)
• A specific call to action (“do it”).

He did it. I stood in his office while I watched him switch my grade. I graduated a week later.

And two years later I was thrown out of graduate school.

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Related reading: Don’t Send Your Kids to College

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The One Thing I Wish I Knew In My 20’s

I was 25 and I went shopping for an engagement ring for my girlfriend.

We had been together for three years and my dad kept asking when I would marry her. My friends kept asking. Her friends kept asking. Her dad kept asking her.

We were living together. And I liked her. Maybe I loved her.

But I started to shake uncontrollably when I was looking at rings in the store. My friend who I was with took one look at me and quoted a lyric from an MC 900 Ft Jesus song: “Something’s gonna happen and it’s probably not good.”

So I didn’t buy the ring. We didn’t get married. She moved out. We moved to different cities. I called her once a few years later but now she’s not even on Facebook and we haven’t talked since.

I forgot everything about her basically.

That sums up the 20s – EVERYTHING you think is important and meaningful has absolutely no bearing on your future life.

I loved her. I had a job. I was trying to write novels. I had friends. I was a computer programmer.

Now…none of the above is true. (oh, I have friends. Just different friends – 100% different).

And everything in my 30s….nothing is true anymore (except I have two kids still. Although now they are not babies. They used to be more stupid than me. Now they are smarter.).

I’m 48 now. I know this: when I’m 68 I’ll think, “Man, nothing mattered when I was 48.”

My most recent career change occurred when I was 47. Before that, I started writing seriously (I wrote 5 or 6 very unserious books in my 30s) when I was 42.

In my 20s and 30s my average weight was about 155 – 170. Now it’s 140. I write every day. I don’t obsess on money all day long. And I make bad decisions all day long – just like I did in my 20s.

The main skill I got between my 20s and now is that I bounce back from bad things faster.

I was VERY successful in my late 20s. And then a TOTAL FAILURE after. Then VERY SUCCESSFUL. And so on.

So that didn’t change. Only my ability to bounce back from really bad things.

Horrible things. Things you wouldn’t want to wish on anyone and yet they happen, in some form or other, to everyone.

So the only thing I can with full integrity say I wish I had known is: nothing at all matters.

Oh, and since nothing matters, once you realize that you’ll start to bounce back faster.

This doesn’t mean lie in bed all day because…blah. Instead, I go all out every day. I throw myself into everything. Even when I make a fool of myself. Why not?

And since nothing matters, might as well be kind to people as much as possible.

Later, we will all laugh at the same joke at the end of this very very long day.

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Related Post: The Ultimate Guide To Your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s

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