Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Ep. 304 – Dov Davidoff: Vulnerability is Good. (It Can Set You Apart)

Dov’s mom was a wacko who belonged to a cult and spent most of her money on freeze dried foods. She was waiting for the apocalypse.

And his father ran a junkyard. He was gay. And emotionally abusive to Dov. So one of the jokes Dov tells on stage is about his parent’s relationship. He says his mom knew that her husband was gay. But somehow, her biggest problem with him was that he ate too much sugar.

The situation is incredibly odd. And undeniably funny.

But he doesn’t talk about it in his stand up at all.

I wondered why.

I remember seeing Dov on stage. He was creating this weird, sort of anger or tension with his subject.

Example: He was trashing his wife, right in front of her. And she was laughing. (I was confused.)

But this is Dov’s interpretation of comedy. And that’s really why I was interviewing him.

“I don’t think of it as trashing. I think of it as telling the truth. And that truth may be a little challenging to hear, but if I’m being honest then that’s the truth. You can talk about anything if you can make it funny.”

Comedy became a self defense mechanism for Dov to deal with the pain.

It’s sort of indirect. Because he never talks about this in his comedy…

“I’m learning to access more of the sadness and the fear that I’ve associated with my own core insecurities. I’m learning to show more of that because, if I don’t, the art form won’t evolve.”

“What do you mean?” I asked him. “What does it mean the art form won’t evolve?”

He told me the difference between being an entertainer and an artist. To Dov, “comedian” doesn’t stop at laughs. It has to explore the whole truth.

He said he wants his comedy to be complex. Valley, Peak, Valley, Peak. Laughter to sadness. And back up again.

“My childhood had more violence and more profanity and it was a much more difficult place to be,” Dov said.

“I’m sure you have a lot of great, funny stories about growing up, but you don’t necessarily tell those in your stand-up.”

“I don’t have that many…” he said. “They all are so sad to me.”

And he started laughing. I think because we laugh when dealing with our sick truths.

Some of these stories are in his book, “Road Dog: Life and Reflections from the Road as a Stand-up Comic.”

Different pains take different expressions. “I’m doing some material now about my father. And about couples therapy. I mean anything can be funny if told right. But I don’t have a joke about the junkyard. I don’t have a joke about my grandfather. These were deeply funny places and people, but…”

He paused. Or maybe I interrupted him.

And then he said, “I’m trying to write more from that place. My voice has got to acknowledge the loneliness and sadness associated with the reason I had to get into comedy in the first place.”

I hope he finds this.  

 

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Also Mentioned

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Monday, January 15, 2018

Ep. 303 – Jeff Goins: Real Artists Don’t Starve

There’s nothing romantic about starving. There’s nothing cute about living off salvia. Everyone loves Beyonce and Jay-Z for their art AND their wealth. But when painters ask for payment, they’re spit on (metaphorically).

So what makes some artists worthy of wealth?  And how can I can achieve that? How can you?

“It comes down to mindset,” Jeff Goins said. “Professionals have a professional mindset.”

Jeff is the bestselling author of “Real Artists Don’t Starve.” And I’ve been wanting him to come on this podcast for over a year.

When we finally met, I was late.

“What does that mean?” I said. “What does it mean to have a professional mindset?”

He gave me an examples (Michelangelo, Walt Disney, James Altucher, Shakespeare, etc.)

Shakespeare didn’t only write plays. He built the theater. This is key to choosing yourself. It’s why I self-publish.

Fact: whenever you try to make a dollar, you only get 5 cents of the dollar.

Publishers, producers, editors, gallery owners, theaters, investors, everyone needs to be paid before you.

Unless you understand the basics of how to convert skill into financial wealth.

Example: Jay-Z was president of Def James. (Run DMC created the label) Then he bought Tidal.

He didn’t just subscribe to the system (40 years of doing the art and then getting paid pennies). He housed his work.

That’s the “professional mindset” Jeff is talking about in this podcast.

“This is just my opinion but I argue that what you want to be is not a starving artist… you want to be a thriving artist. That’s somebody who makes money so they can make more art,” Jeff said.

“I know people and you know people, James, who are writers, actors, creatives. They’re not getting picked by the system. They’re not world famous, but they’re thriving. They are making a living doing the kind of work that they believe in. I call that the New Renaissance”

But then I asked him the big question…

HOW do you ask for money? Because a lot of people feel like they can’t.

“Charisma helps,” he said.

But ultimately it came down to this: asking for money is a way of measuring how people value your art.

You’re just trading value. And sometimes finding someone who sees the same value in your work is a challenge. That’s why there’s 5 steps in making art…

  • FIRST: You have to start with your natural talents (what did you love doing as a kid or in your free time?)
  • SECOND: Build up skill (There’s no one skill called “writing” or “basketball.” There are tons of micro-skills involved. But if you can identify the top 5 -10 skills in your area, practice everyday, aim for mastery. The key to step 2 is dedication.)
  • THIRD: Get business sense (see Jay-Z example above… maybe I’ll write a whole post on this. Because there are many examples. But if you listen to the podcast, you’ll hear how Walt Disney built up his business sense, too).
  • FOURTH: Figure out “what does ownership” look like in your space
  • FIFTH: You have to believe in you first. (this is really step 1…) Have faith that your skills, connections and business sense will allow you to take that leap. You’re jumping where there is no bridge. Have faith you’ll hit the other side.

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Thursday, January 11, 2018

The Most Important Reasons I Waste My Life Writing

“Why are we addicts?” I asked my friend.

“What do you mean?”

“My kids don’t’ even know who the Beatles are. Everything you write, everything I write, will be forgotten within three days of us dying,” I said.

I’m addicted to my past. Afraid of my future.

The past is often too painful. It’s an alphabet made out of rain.

I want to assemble the letters into something sensible. So I can live. Live forever.

Why I write:

FOR ATTENTION

I was a spy.

I wrote down “David liked Joanne. He was staring at her”. I wrote down, “Lori likes Jimmy.” I wrote down, “Jennifer likes Robert.”

I think both Robert and Jennifer are dead now.

I was in Fifth grade. I brought in a spiral notebook. The metal at the end of the spiral would stick out and poke me.

And every time I noticed someone in class looking at each other I wrote it down.

What a mystery it is to fall in love!

Everyone wanted to see my notebook. Everyone wanted to know who liked who. “Who likes me?” I still want to know that.

I wouldn’t let anyone look at my notebook. “It’s private!”

Eventually the teacher said, “What is this notebook? Let me see!”

She looked at it. One page. Two pages. Three pages. She said, “Don’t bring this notebook back to class ever again. “

And that is the first time I wrote for a public audience. And the first time someone hated me for something I wrote.

The last time that happened was a few minutes ago (“This guy is stupid and his irrational rants are idiotic” someone wrote in a comment just now on m blog.).

I still write for attention. I hope I get enough confidence in myself to not need other people’s attention to be happy.

But if I’m really honest, I need it. I really need it. And I don’t like it about me.

TO SEEM SMART

The first time I had a “book deal” was when my parent’s friend, a publisher, told me he would publish a book about Rubik’s Cube if I wrote it.

I was 13. I started writing the book. I told everyone I was going to be a published author. I wanted them to think I was smart.

Sanford, the publisher’s name, went to jail.

He was also in the steel business. He’d bribe people who delivered steel to him to give him extra steel. I was never sure I understood how it worked.

I remember his wife was pretty and smelled like perfume.

I still want to be seen as smart. If you are an honest and sincere writer then sometimes people think you are smart but often people will think you are stupid.

When I said, “I don’t think kids should go to college” or… “I don’t think people should own a home” many people think I’m stupid.

Important skill tip #1: don’t just say smart facts. Give a story and interweave the facts into the story. Be a writer and not just smart.

Ok.

I think I can deal with people thinking I’m stupid. I have a tiny bit more confidence. But only a little.

TO ATTRACT WOMEN

When I was 21, I saw Mark Evenson pretend to be a writer and he and Jen Min started going out.

I don’t remember names of people I met yesterday but I remember Jen Min. Because maybe I was in love with her, whatever that means.

And Mark maybe never wrote a word down but he had read Ulysses and smoked cigarettes and seemed “cool” to me. He was a “writer”. I wanted to be a writer.

So I started writing. I wrote every day. I wrote 3000 words a day. I wrote a novel: “The Book of David”. I wrote another novel, “The Porn Writer, The Romance Writer, The Prostitute, and They’re Lovers”. I wrote another novel: “The Book of Orpheus” (I liked “The Book of” back then for some reason).

I wrote another novel. I wrote about 40 stories.

I had no confidence with women at all. I was still the boy with acne and metal rubber banded braces, and cysts, and glasses, and messy hair and dirty hygiene (I still have the last three).

If only I could publish a book, I thought, I’ll be happy. I’ll be a real human and women would like me. Maybe even love me.

Is this a good reason to write?

Maybe.

There’s a lot of sub-skills to writing.

Telling a good story that people can relate to is one of them. To tell a good story you have to have something “different” and something “the same”. “The same” means people can relate and “different” means you can be unique and rise above the rest.

I’m afraid of the day I stop writing.

Will women stop loving me?

Hold on a second, I’m going to ask ….

……

Ok, I asked her. I’m on a flight to Miami. It’s our first trip together. She’s watching a movie with Reese Witherspoon.

I leaned over to her and she took out the earbud.

“If I stopped writing would you stop loving me?”

“Of course not,” she said and, because I like it, she touched my cheek. She looked over at the computer. She read what I was writing. “What are you writing? What’s ‘Hold on a second…’? “

“I had to ask you in order to continue this post.”

“I don’t think you can stop writing,” she said. “Would you stop loving me if I stopped talking?”

“Please god,” I said and she laughed and went back to the movie.

TO BE AN EXPERT

Ryan Holiday wrote an excellent article recently. “PLEASE,” he wrote, “stop writing your ‘books as the new business card.”

He’s right. And, like just about every opinion in the world, he’s wrong.

What’s he’s really saying is: Stop writing lame business self-help books that add no new knowledge to the world.

Don’t just write to get more consulting or speaking gigs. Say something “NEW” so that people can later say, “Your book changed my life.”

If they can’t say that…don’t write it. DON’T.

I get it. Authors get more speaking gigs. But be that person who saves lives. Don’t be boring.

If you write some business self-help book, write about your failures in business and how you overcame them.

Write about the time you lost everything, and the steps (one through ten) that you took to get off of rock bottom. How you often slipped along the way.

How you often disappointed people and felt guilty and ashamed.

How you were embarrassed to tell people the truth about your failures.

And then how you FAILED yet again.

ABS – Always Be Storytelling.

Everyone should write a book. Just don’t write a bad book. Or, if you do, write a second and third book so you can get better.

TO SHARE THINGS THAT WILL HELP PEOPLE

I got fired when I wrote my first book.

I hate thinking I used to write boring finance books. But I did. I’m sorry.

But this one was fun. It was called “Trade Like a Hedge Fund”.

I revealed every single technique I used in my daytrading. I gave away all my secrets. I still have that terrible habit. I like to share everything.

People thought I was crazy. And my boss at the time thought I was stealing ideas from him.

He wrote to me, “I want nothing to do with you financially”.

I wrote back, “It’s too late, you owe me a lot of money from the profits I generated for you.” So he cut me a check that day and we haven’t spoken since.

I did share every technique.

People always say to me (as recently as yesterday), “why do you share so much?”

Because I don’t care. I like to share.

When I was 12 I bought a bag of candy to school. I gave everyone candy. Someone said to me, “Look! Finally people like James!”

I was humiliated and stopped bringing in candy.

We don’t need to grab every dime in the world. Money is less interesting to me than having fun and helping people.

Why should just a few people on Wall Street or Silicon Valley make money. Why be so critical of me if I share?

One person said to me: “Well, if you are so successful, why not just clothe naked kids instead of selling stuff.”

I make almost zero money selling things compared with what I make in investing. Writing is a very very difficult and painful way to make money unless you are JK Rowling or John Grisham.

And maybe I do clothe naked kids. The highest form of charity is to do charity anonymously.

Charity is my own business. I have a particular technique I use for giving. Maybe one day I’ll write about it.

But for now I like just writing about things that embarrass me and cause me to feel ashamed.

TO SHARE EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT MYSELF

“Are you about to kill yourself?” Max asked me in 2010.

“Why?”

“Because you’re sharing all this embarrassing stuff about yourself. I just got worried, that’s all.”

Max has written three excellent non-fiction books.

And yes, my sharing is a cry for help. Suicide is a horrible wretched thing that destroys families.

But often I felt like killing myself.

Writing is often a way to kill that part of me that wanted to kill all of me.

When I share these stories, and see that people relate to them, it makes me feel part of a community.

I used to feel very lonely all of the time.

And because I was raised that I was “the genius”, it was hard for me to admit the times I was so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid!

Lying in the street at three in the morning, drunk, with a girl I didn’t know, with all my money being lost, with all my businesses failing, with employees and friends depending on me, with two little daughters to raise. Stupid.

Now, because I share, I still feel lonely much of the time. But I don’t feel alone.

TO LEARN

I didn’t write “The Power of No” because I was so good at saying ‘No’.

After “Choose Yourself” a publisher called me. “We’ll do any book with you. What do you want to do?”

And I was reading “The Power of Now” right then so I said, “How about the Power of Now but without the ‘w’ at the end. I feel like we don’t need that letter.”

They said, “Deal!”

So now I had a book deal. “The Power of No”.

I am always bad at saying “No” to people. Ask me to a wedding and rather than saying “No” I will just never speak to you again, even if you are my best friend ever (sorry Peter!).

Saying “No” is something I had to learn all my life. That’s what I wrote about in the book. Every way I learned to say “No”. Stories.

You don’t read a book about “How to meet women” by Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt can’t tell me stories of the lifelong struggle to meet someone to date. I can’t relate to him.

The best books are people who have been through the struggle. The only way to really learn is to have hardship, overcome it in various ways as you encounter more and more difficulties, and the come back a changed person to tell the tale.

In other words: Star Wars.

And every other great story ever told. This is called The Arc of the Hero.

Every good writing: a novel, a movie, a non-fiction book, a self-help book, even a tweet, can use the Arc of the Hero to make the writing better.

So sometimes i write in order to become the hero. To look at my hardships, to study how I overcame them, to learn how to better overcome them,

TO MARKET

People sometimes ask me, “how do I market my book?”

The only real answer is: “Write another book”.

Keep on writing. Keep on reading. Keep on building a network. Keep on learning to deal with anxiety. Keep on dealing with writer’s block.

Writing is a marathon. Skill is a marathon. Luck is a marathon.

And that’s painful. It hurts to know how many years we all have in front of us to be true experts and successes at what we do.

Paul Reiser (star of the classic TV series, “Mad About You”, and more recently, “Stranger Things”), told me, “It’s almost as if people beginning to get better are like babies in the womb. The fetus doesn’t realize it can drown in all of the fluids. But the womb protects it. Same with comedians and artists. Else we’d all quit in the beginning.”

We’d all fall apart at the beginning if we realized how truly bad we were. But something protects us.

Perhaps love of what we are doing (which is why one should only do something for love).

The best way to market a book is to simply get GREAT. Getting great makes everything else easy.

LOVE

I watched the movie “8 Mile” and read the book “Influence” by Robert Cialdini on the same day.

While I was watching “8 Mile” I realized, “Eminem, if he knows it or not, is using Cialdini’s EXACT same techniques and cognitive biases to win his rap battle.”

I loved 8 Mile. I loved Cialdini’s book (he came on my podcast).

So I wrote the article: “How to Get an MBA from Eminem”.

It’s one of my most popular posts ever.

I love the rooftop concert of The Beatles. I wrote about it. It’s one of my favorite posts ever.

When I realized, what it took for me to bounce back from suicidal depression to potential success I wrote “How to be the Luckiest Person Alive in 4 Easy Steps”. It’s by far my most popular post ever.

I only write about what I love. I only write stories from my life that had an impact on me.

It reminds me of doing standup comedy. I’ve been doing standup comedy 3-6 times a week now for the past year.

Every month I’m 100% better than the month before (I hope).

One of the most recent things I’ve realized is: if I’m having fun, the audience will have fun. They want to join in the fun I am having.

The audience (the readership) is an X-Ray machine. They know when you are having a party. They know when you are nervous. They know when you are afraid of them. They know when you love them.

They will then treat you the way you deserve.

Writing is hard. Typing is boring. The past is dark.

But if you don’t start with love, you’ll never end with beauty.

I’m being honest.

I write to get people to like me. I write because after 25 years, I’m pretty good at it and I use this skill to help me communicate my desires and feelings and needs. I write because I’m insecure. Because I’m afraid.

And because I love it. I love being stopped in the street and someone saying, “You’re writing changed my life. Thank you.” I hope I always love it. We’ll see.

Money can be a side effect of writing (or any art). But you can’t do art just for money.

Once you accept money, you just capped your career and growth.

Nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of it.

The past two years I’ve written fiction, non-fiction, memoir, a children’s book, TV scripts, a comic book, and I’ve helped many other people with their writing.

I hope I never stop. But I never predict the future.

I love it.

Thank you for reading.

I love you.

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Tuesday, January 9, 2018

The Amazing Power of Roots

After divorce, I moved back into the Chelsea Hotel. This was ten years ago.

Robert was behind the desk in 2007. Robert was behind the desk in 1995 when I had originally moved in.

I hadn’t seen him since I moved out in 1998, about three months after I had been married. Which already tells you where I was heading: right back here.

In 2007, I walked in with my one bag. Robert barely looked up.

“You again,” he said. His first words to me in ten years. And then he checked me into a room.

I was home.

The Chelsea Hotel had bad art all over the walls. Sometimes struggling artists would pay the rent in art. You never know!

Sometimes other people paid in… other ways. But I paid with cash each time.

The first time I moved in was in 1995. I had done my first website for money. It still exists: diamondcutters.com.

Shlomo, the owner of the diamond company, paid me with a paper bag filled to the rim with cash. He’s dead now. Died in a plane crash looking for diamonds in Russia.

Shlomo had a secretary with a wine-colored scar, blotting out the landscape of her cheek.

I loved her. I wanted to lick the scar right off of her cheek.

I took the bag of cash and went to The Chelsea Hotel and waited in the lobby for hours for Stanley Bard, the owner to show up.

“What are you? A drug dealer?” he asked me. But he took the money and got me a room.

Back in the hotel again a decade later. I was scared of my life. I figured I would kill myself in six months if things didn’t get better.

I was getting to know a woman. Stephanie. We had been to dinner a few times. She was a psychiatrist. I was always afraid she would discover my secret and think (know!) I was crazy.

She came over and we watched a movie. Superbad. She thought the room was disgusting. “How can you live here?” she said.

The hotel had used condoms on the staircases (I had to hide the eyes of my kids once when walking down the stairs).

There was every type of addict living in every other room. Plus a few tourists. I was somewhere in the middle. Never feeling comfortable with anyone.

When the Chelsea Hotel opened in 1884 it was either the largest hotel in the world or one of the largest buildings. I forget which record it broke. It broke a lot of records.

My apartment was missing the door to the bathroom. And all the furniture was really old and probably dirty. I didn’t care. I loved it.

In the mornings I would wake up, feeling both miserable and lonely and lucky at the same time.

I was home, even if I felt too much depression to move in the morning. Why does the sun come through the window? Who asked it?

Stephanie left after the movie. The next day she called me. She had been to her psychiatrist.

She said, “My psychiatrist thinks we shouldn’t date,” she said. “She says because you live in a hotel room that you have no real roots. You have to get rooted.”

“I didn’t know psychiatrists see psychiatrists,” I said. I imagined an infinite ladder of psychiatrists that would filter guidance down to the people who simply know they are ashamed and have nobody to talk to.

“You need to get roots. You need to get a real place.”

This is real, I said. This is where I’m from.

No it isn’t, she said.

“What if I live in the building across from yours?”

“Too close. That’s too fast.”

“What if I live downtown,” I said, “Near where I have some friends.”

“Too far,” she said. “I don’t feel like going 45 minutes back and forth every time I see you.”

This makes it seem like she was high maintenance. I don’t know. She seemed like an adult and I felt like a little boy.

One time we were on a date and we had a conversation and it made me unhappy and it ended with me crying and her leaving. Or, at least, I didn’t call her back or contact her ever again.

A few weeks later she sent me an email. “What happened? I cancelled all my dating site memberships because of you.”

I just checked her Facebook page. I guess some time in the past ten years she blocked me.

From 2015 to 2017 I lived in Airbnbs. I had no address. I could move in one second’s notice since I never unpacked and lived with just 2-3 outfits and a computer out of one carry on bag.

I guess I had no roots. Nothing seemed to work for me. I just moved from place to place.

During this time I discovered I had friends. After all these books and articles and podcasts, some people wanted to be my friend.

The NY Times wrote about me. A TV company wanted to do a sitcom about me. A reality TV company wanted to do a reality show.

Everyone said, “I would love to live that sort of life.” People said I was a minimalist but I think I was just lazy. And a voyeur.

I liked looking at everyone’s life. The people who gave me their houses.

This one liked toy planes. This other one had three pianos. This one was an artist who painted nude little boys.

Another one was under indictment for something. Once the police were banging on the door. He was texting me at the same time: “Don’t let them in!”

Another one was in charge of the central bank of a major country. I think Australia or New Zealand. From her place I could see directly into David Bowie’s apartment. My favorite of favorites.

Then he died and I left a something at his something.

I was in one floor. Two floor. Three floors. I had pools, views, and sometimes nothing. I lived all over the country in Airbnbs. Every owner wanted to please me because I was THE Airbnb guy.

Everyone had a story. I could only figure out bits and pieces of the story.

About two months ago I moved into a new place. Not an Airbnb. MY place. For the first time in my life I moved into a place by myself and bought furniture.

I felt I had to move. I felt I needed to move to stop moving.

I loved the building.

It’s like an old man’s Chelsea Hotel. Many artists have lived here. Cyndi Lauper. Nora Ephron.

My neighbor is the daughter of one of my favorite authors of all time. He’s dead now but he lived in that apartment. I re-read his book twice.

The real estate agent was disgusted with me, “I can show you better apartments.”

Another guy said, “You won’t get your money’s worth there.”

I didn’t care.

I wanted to rent this building. My real estate agent said, “the board will never approve you. You never had a credit card. You have no credit score.”

I gave 13 months in advance.

“I have never seen them approve someone so fast,” the real estate agent said.

I moved in. I didn’t even look anywhere else. I KNEW this was the building.

A friend picked out all the furniture. “Keep it very minimalist,” and only blacks and whites and some blues.

I still had only a few outfits so most of the closets are still empty.

But I bought books again.

The books I always loved. It’s like they leapt out of my computer and onto a bookshelf. I love to feel the pages. I want to bathe in a bathtub of books.

And I had friends over. In fact, I had friends. Friends!

I felt good. One morning I woke up and I felt this huge wave of stabilization sweep over me. Like this was home.

Like I was a tree with roots deep into the ground. I felt strong.

Now if I want anyone to enter into my life, they now have to be GOOD enough to enter into my home. My life was gated by my home. By the ghosts and angels that moved in with me and protected me.

I realized the ways I had been always pandering to others. Trying to get people to like me. And I’m the guy who WROTE “Choose Yourself”.

Now I could just go home if I got scared outside. I had a home. Even if I was “just” renting.

I re-read my own book. I learn every time I read it. I wrote the book because I needed it. Not because I was an expert. But because I’m always the student.

I still felt like a minimalist.

A minimalist of worries and anxiety. Even of desires. Because desires and moments of happiness are just as addictive as despair.

I was a minimalist of what it would take me to feel well-being. .

I’d like to say my life got better.

That suddenly a gray fog lifted up above me for the first time and everything was clear: who I should be with, what will make me happy, what will make me free and powerful, and what won’t.

I’d like to be able to say this.

So I will.

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Ep. 302 – Aaron Carroll: It’s All Relative: Nutrition Myths Debunked

Every woman I’ve ever had a relationship with has been healthier than me.

And they’re always lecturing me.

Even my 15 year old daughter.

So I invited Aaron Carroll, pediatrician and the author of “The Bad Food Bible: How and Why to Eat Sinfully” on the podcast. I wanted to throw out every argument ever made about coffee, carbs, alcohol, MSG, BACON, antioxidants, the list goes on!

Aaron can dismantle the rumors. And give you your control back (when it comes to health).

“There are people who make claims all the time about these kinds of things (food crazes, the latest media hyped diet, etc.), but there’s no conclusive links. This is the healthiest the human race has ever been ever.”

The healthiest the human race has ever been!

Aaron looks at ALL the scientific research. And figured out that someone is always misinterpreting the data. (Either the consumer or the media)

Half the studies are good and half are bad.  

So really, when it comes to your food it’s a sample size of one. If something makes you feel good, it’s probably good for you. If it makes you feel bad, it’s probably bad for you.

Simple.

“This idea that somehow the food is poisoning us and we’re all in mortal danger is somewhat bizarre, we’re doing great,” Aaron said.   

And you know it’s funny because he’s right. We’re always looking for the latest craze that’s making us fatter, giving us cancer, or increasing our risk of heart disease or strokes.

“People argue that processed meat raises your relative risk of colon cancer by 18%,which sounds scary… But that would mean, if I chose today to eat an extra three pieces of bacon everyday for the rest of my life, my overall lifetime risk of colon cancer MIGHT go up 1/2 of 1%,” Aaron said.  

You’d have to eat three EXTRA pieces of bacon a day and still your risk doesn’t go up that much.

I think diet comes down to fear. We’re afraid of dying. Or having a heart attack or being ugly. And it turns out that all food has some inherent risk. And it varies. We are not all created equal.

What may work for you, is probably going to give me a stomach ache.

And drinking two cups of coffee at 3 in the afternoon is going to make me more creative, but would maybe make you stay up all night.

The answers lie within yourself.   

So here are my top ten takeaways from Aaron to live a healthier life…

ONE: Limit processed foods as much as possible.

TWO: Exercise 30 minutes a day, even if it’s just a brisk walk – exercise is like a miracle drug.

THREE: Be Mindful. (Is what you’re eating too easy?)

FOUR: Start cooking for yourself more (this way, you know exactly what you’re consuming)

FIVE: Stop drinking your calories. (You can drink a soda and get massive amounts of sugar and empty calories in minutes)

SIX: Don’t deprive yourself. (Aaron said, “If you feel like you’re depriving yourself because you haven’t had pasta in years I’d say there’s probably very little danger of once in awhile enjoying it.”)

SEVEN: Salt is what makes food taste good. (“The amount of salt that you’re adding at the table from the salt shaker is inconsequential almost compared to what’s already in your food. If you’re cooking for yourself, you almost couldn’t add too much salt.)

EIGHT: Don’t abuse alcohol… but 1-2 drinks a day isn’t going to kill you

NINE: Focus on your needs vs. your wants

TEN: You’ll gain weight if you eat too much of anything.

But most of all, do what works for you. Because the best diet is one you can stick to.

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Monday, January 8, 2018

Ep. 301 – Dan Harris: How to Mentally Train the Mind – Ten Minutes a Day

He had a panic attack on air.

Live.

A meltdown in front of five million people.

Dan was struggling with PTSD. And it led him to substance abuse and depression.

But like many people at bottom, his panic attack was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Dan knew he needed to make changes in his life. But he didn’t know how. His mentors and friends said “find faith.” So he tried…. Religion. Spirituality. Self help. And finally meditation.  

I asked Dan, “So what exactly is meditation?” Because I think to a lot of people it has this unappealing notion of finding enlightenment and being closer to Buddha, talking to the Dalai Lama and blah blah blah.  

“There are a couple of ways to define meditation,” he said. “One is anything that gets you to pay attention to what’s happening right now is meditation. That’s a very broad definition. Another broad definition is training the mind/mental training.”

Your mind is trainable. It’s plastic. And ready to be molded at any stage of your life. (Including now.)

But it takes work. And trust me it’s not easy. I’ve been practicing meditation practice for many years.

“All the things we want the most: fresh ideas, spontaneity, gratitude, calm, inner peace, self awareness, compassion, these are all mental skills,” Dan said. “These are skills that you can train. And to me that is just a hugely liberating idea.”

I think what I learned the most from Dan in this podcast is that meditation can be enjoyed. It’s not supposed to be a forced activity. And making meditation an essential part of your daily routine will help improve your life tenfold. But only if you really put in the work.

Wellbeing doesn’t always imply happiness, (sometimes that goal is out of reach), it means you’re well right now.

I’ve never had a panic attack on air. But I have had them. And it can feel like you’re dying. I’ve read hundreds of articles on “what it feels like to have a panic attack” to see if I’m alone.

I’m not.

And even though that’s comforting, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I hope this podcast can help you or someone you love feel just 10% happier.

I always say 1% improvement a day at anything you love, improves you 3800% a year.

Most people don’t realize that. Our efforts can be small. But the returns can be huge.

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Sunday, January 7, 2018

Everything You Need To Know About Bitcoin

Here’s the problem: most people who know a lot about Bitcoin can only speak “tech”.

I was at a conference recently. I was the keynote speaker but had zero talk prepared (as usual). It was a crowdfunding conference so I “crowdsourced” my talk.

I asked the audience: I can talk about entrepreneurship or I can take fifteen minutes to explain Bitcoin without using any technical jargon. Clap for which one you want.

Almost 100% of the people wanted to learn about Bitcoin without the technical jargon.

People are hungry for this. They don’t want to hear about “crypto” or “blockchain”. They just want to know what all this Bitcoin stuff is about.

Back in 2013, I thought Bitcoin was a scam. I was wrong.

First, some credentials.

In early 2013 I had my doubts. I started reading everything I could. Then I got my hands dirty.

I’ve been a coder / programmer since 1985. I decided to code up a Bitcoin only store (maybe the first ever) and sell my book, “Choose Yourself” on it before it was released on Amazon.

It was very hard. I had to develop the store from scratch since there were no easy tools to help me. There still isn’t (hint: business opportunity).

Once I launched it, quite a few people bought my book. I sold a PDF of my book for 0.1 Bitcoin. Bitcoin was then $60 so I sold it for about $6 per PDF. Right now, it’s as if I sold each PDF for $1600. I sold many copies.

I went on CNBC when they heard I was doing this. The anchor asked me, “Did you just do this for publicity?

I said, “Well, I’m on national TV so I guess it worked.”

Another thing worth noting: Most of my customers came from one domain name (they had to submit their email addresses for me to process the sale): Amazon.com. Make of that what you will.

A few months ago I started writing about cryptocurrencies again. I saw so many people getting involved in scams, I wanted to help.

The other day I had an Uber driver who thanked me during the car ride for helping him “get it”.

And last night at a restaurant, the waiter at the end of the meal shook my hand and thanked me for helping him “finally” begin to understand what Bitcoin was about.

In order for crypto currencies to succeed, people need to understand at a basic level what they are. Nobody needs to learn complicated cryptography or blockchain.

Just understand why now. Why this is important for us a society.

TWO CRITICAL REASONS BITCOIN IS HISTORICALLY IMPORTANT AND HERE TO STAY

Just understand these two reasons. Then you will know the potential for Bitcoin. And you will be popular at cocktail parties.

A) THE HISTORY OF MONEY

Every new style of money solves the major problems of the last style of money.

1.. Barter

If I have a bag of rice and I need shoes, what if you make shoes but you only need 1/2 bag of rice. Do I get 1/2 a pair of shoes?

Barter has a lot of problems. In the above, coming up with the rice to shoes exchange rate is difficult.

Then coming up with 1000s of exchange rates just to go out and buy groceries is almost impossible.

PLUS, what if you have to move (your kingdom is attacked). How are you going to carry all that rice? All of those shoes?

Money has two purposes:

  • as a store of wealth / savings
  • to make transactions

There’s a third, which Ray Dalio, the head of the largest hedge fund in the world, Brigewater, told me the other day. But we’ll get to that later.

Barter is horrible as a store of wealth. And for transactions, best case it’s very difficult.

But problems lead to opportunities. Which leads to…

2. PRECIOUS METALS / COINS

Gold and silver are scarce. It’s hard to mine them.

But it’s hard to forge them because you can measure by weight.

So the scarcity combined with the lack of forgery makes them good choices for money. I can convert my rice into gold coins, you can convert your shoes into gold coins, and now we can trade and now we can buy whatever we want.

(Marcus Aurelius on a gold coin)

As a store of wealth, it’s not great but not horrible.

If my kingdom is attacked and I have to move, gold and silver are easily stored and carried as designed jewelry.

BUT, two problems.

One: what if you live in a country that doesn’t have any gold mines. Now you either have to trade for gold or start attacking countries: (this did not work out so well for the Aztecs).

Two: What if you wanted to buy a house right now: are you really going to bring a truck of gold bars to the closing? Or if you have to move to another country and you have a lifetime worth of savings: are you going to ship all of your gold bars to your new home?

People say that gold is “real” as opposed to (later) paper money and cryptocurrencies.

This is not really true. Gold is a rock. But it does have industrial uses (silver is better for this because of price but still…). Gold and silver are great electric conductors, can be used as SILVERware. Can be used as antibiotics (hence great for fillings on teeth).

So we can say that gold money is “backed” by something that has real use with value associated with it.

But we still have to solve the problems above.

3) PAPER MONEY BACKED BY GOLD AND…PAPER MONEY

Countries made paper money that was like a contract with the government that all of that money can be converted into gold.

This was great for transactions (easy to carry paper money).

This was great for store of wealth (put the money in a bank and you can go anywhere). The first banks for paper money backed by gold helped fund every war in Europe in the 1800s. Good job!

When paper money is backed by gold it also puts a clamp on inflation. You only have as much paper money in a country as there is gold in that country.

(yes, there is a 100,000 dollar bill in the US. Woodrow Wilson is on it).

So you can trust the government to not go crazy printing money that is not backed by gold (like German in the 1920s when trillions of Marks were printed and Germany went into an inflationary death spiral that was at least one cause for World War II).

BUT, why benefit the countries where gold is easy to mine and punish the countries where gold is hard to mine.

Also, the world is expanding in every way: more people, more technology, more innovation, more THINGS.

I’m not sure this is a good thing or a bad thing (see: Germany above) but sometimes countries need to balance debt with money printing to manage their fiscal policy.

The US went off of gold in the early 70s in order to fund the financial needs of both the Vietnam War and the social improvement programs of Lyndon Johnson.

This created inflation.

Paper money will often lead to this situation. Someone will say: why do we need the gold part?

Again, might be good or bad. There’s a lot of debate. Did money printing save the US in 2008 and 2009? Maybe. Or will their be future problems caused by this? Maybe.

Nevertheless, there are other problems with paper money that need to be solved:

a. No privacy.

If I’m making a sizable (greater than $1000) transaction I’m usually not using cash but either a credit card or a money wire.

So that means your bank knows. Other banks know (the bank you are sending money to, the Federal Reserve, the local Reserve bank, etc).

Government agencies know (the IRS, the NSA, etc etc).

Potentially sites like Google and Amazon know depending on what payment services you use and what you are buying.

So you have no privacy on your transactions with paper money.

b. Fees.

If I send a friend in Korea money, I go through my bank (fee), local reserve bank (fee), Federal Reserve (fee), International wiring system (fee), their central bank (fee), their local reserve bank (fee), their local bank (fee).

That’s a lot of fees. Those fees help create inflation because every transaction needs to have a profit on top of those fees.

c. Forgery. Something like $200 billion in forged money is circulating right now.

d. Human error. This is a CRITICAL problem. There are so many opportunities for human error. When you transfer money, they can send to the wrong account. Or a bank’s software can be hacked and you lose all of your money.

Or, most importantly, the Federal Reserve in the US can decide to print another trillion (Like 2009) and, without your permission, the value of your dollar has gone down.

In the US we’ve been lucky. But all of South America hasn’t been so lucky (all of their currencies crashed in the 80s. Most of Asia wasn’t so lucky in the 90s (their currencies wiped them out). Russia in 1997 was wiped out.

Many countries have relied on humans to print (or not print) money and the slightest human error can wipe out an entire country’s economy.

The United States has been lucky. For now. But this is a HUGE error we risk every day.

These are the basic problems. There are more (theft, for instance).

e. What is backing paper money?

Only our trust. I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist. But the reality is: a dollar is a piece of paper. Just like gold is just a rock.

How do they make us trust that the money has value?

They put “In God We Trust” on it. They put George Washington. They put the signature of the Secretary of Treasury (pretending it’s a contract.).

And, for the weirdos, they even put a pyramid with an eye on it.

And that’s supposed to be why we trust it. I don’t trust it.

4) BITCOIN (and, btw, Bitcoin is not the end. There will be a “5”).

Bitcoin solves the problems above.

a. Human error: there is no printing of money. There is a fixed supply of 21,000,000 coins.

How do I know this? I’m a skeptic. So I read the software behind Bitcoin. I read it over and over until I could figure it out. In one part of the code they clearly define how many coins can be “mined” / printed (printed is the wrong word but I’m using it here to make the connection with paper money). And there’s another part of the code which “enforces” the first part.

(part of the code that limits the total # of bitcoins to 21,000,000. I found this by reading ALL of the code for bitcoin).

b. Theft. Like with every other form of currency, an exchange (like a bank) that stores your Bitcoin can be hacked and money stolen.

BUT, I only keep a small amount of money in an exchange. You can get a storage drive, store your money, and put it in a safety deposit box. So even if the exchange is attacked, you still have your money.

ALL theft can be prevented this way with Bitcoin. You can’t do this with paper dollars because if you have too many dollars, how will you store it? Ditto for gold.

c. Forgery. The software guarantees that Bitcoins can’t be forged.

d. Privacy. I can send you a Bitcoin and nobody knows who is sending it, who is receiving it, and no government institutions are aware of it.

e. Fees.

Some bitcoin transactions have small fees. But it’s nothing like the fees of going through six banks in the transaction described above.

What’s backing it?

There’s about 1000 man-years of science backing Bitcoin.

The underlying technology of Bitcoin which involves heavy amounts of cryptography, financial know-how, and basics of contract law, plus the “blockchain” have 100s of use-cases that we have only just begun to play with.

EVEN IF Bitcoin is never used as a coin (although note: it’s being used every day as money) there are 100s or 1000s of other uses for Bitcoin that have nothing to do with the basic money use.

I won’t get into the weeds here: but suffice to say that ALL of contract law can be (and will be) eventually replaced by Bitcoin.

And ALL of logistics will be replaced by Bitcoin (e.g. UPS is replacing all of their internal logistics (tracking millions of packages every day going from millions of locations to millions of other locations) by Bitcoin technology.

There’s nothing behind paper money or gold like this.

Now…Bitcoin has problems also.

Hence the need for other cryptocurrencies. But that’s ok and not the topic for here. Suffice to say, Bitcoin solves all the basic problems of paper money, which solves the problems of gold, which solves the problems of barter.

HOWEVER, there is another reason why Bitcoin is here to stay and it’s so compelling.

——

EVOLUTION OF EVERY INDUSTRY

Everything in life evolves. Not only species but ideas.

Let’s look at some industries.

MEDICINE

Theism: 500 years ago if you got sick, you’d either pray to a god to get better, go to a shaman, make a sacrifice, or assume you committed a sin that made you sick and would try to undo the sin.

Humanism: Post-rennaissance, we had human “experts” called doctors who would either leech us to death, perform horrible surgeries that would kill us, or would pat us on the back, hammer our knee and say, “take two aspirin”.

Doctors aren’t bad. They’ve saved many many lives. But Humanism has it’s limits. A known fact is that, on average, the moment when a doctor is most effective is his or her first year out of medical school. After that, statistically downhill.

Data-ism:

Now when if you go to a doctor, you get tests. You get blood work, you get an MRI, an EEG, an X-Ray, the X-Ray might go into a database and an AI algorithm matches it against other X-rays (does it match a tumor X-ray or a non-tumor X-ray?). We even get genetic testing to see if our illness is in our chromosomes.

Then, armed with data, often a computer will tell us the correct solution (and even a computer can do the robotic surgery needed), or a human will help interpret the data (but there’s room for human error here).

(source: National Genome Research Institute)

So Medicine has evolved from

Theism → Humanism → Dataism

Let’s pick another industry:

WAR

Theism: 3000 years ago if two countries went to war, the kings would perform massive sacrifices to their gods the day before.

In the Bible, whosever God was stronger (Baal versus Yahweh being a notable Hebrew battle), that group would win the war.

Fragments of this exist right now: May the Force Be With You, said to Luke before he flies out to fight the Death Star.

Humanism: For the past 500 years, whoever had the most humans on the ground, the most bullets, then the most planes, then the most bombs. ,would win the war.

Data-ism:

War is being fought every day now. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every day, some country tries to bring down the electric grid of Poland.

Every day, every Fortune 500 company is attacked by “bot armies” coming from…nobody knows.

I’ve been involved in the cyber security space for 25 years or more.

I once was talking to a company who helps Fortune 500 companies fight “bot armies”. All of the employees were top Phds who were the experts in their fields.

One guy told me, “No matter how smart we are, they are smarter.”

Who are “they?” The people making the bot armies. Where do they come from? We don’t know. They come from everywhere. They are just smarter than us.

Elections are rigged. Companies are attacked. Information is stolen.

We have been in World War III for at least 20 years and it will never end. Dataism has taken over war.

Ok…

MONEY

Theism: “In God We Trust”

Humanism: “George Washington”. A picture of Independence Hall. Or the White House. Anything. Anything at all so that we trust humans with what we are given in exchange for the hard labor we do every single day.

Do we trust humans? I tend to trust humans. But that is maybe not so smart all of the time. Humans make a lot of mistakes and that’s been the downfall of so many companies, so many families, and so many…everything.

Data-ism. Bitcoin and now other cryptocurrencies.

1000s of man-years of science. 100,000s of lines of code that has been checked by 10,000s of the best programmers.

Data-ism prevents forgery, keeps privacy, re-creates all contract law, avoids fees, avoids theft. And this is just a small sample of what data does for money.

“In Data We Trust” for better or worse. But it works.

The natural evolution of money has arrived. And it’s not only Bitcoin but other cryptocurrencies.

FAQ:

Why do we need other Cryptocurrencies?

Why do we need more than one currency at all? Why is there a US dollar and a Canadian dollar.

FOR NO REASON. Just an artificial border created in 1770 and we have two different currencies.

Cryptocurrencies have what I call are “problem borders”.

One coin is better than Bitcoin for making contracts (Ethereum).

Another coin is better for privacy ((Zcash. A problem with Bitcoin is that although there are no names on a transaction, I can see the size and the time. So privacy is still a slight problem).

Another coin might be better for solving a problem of decentralized storage (as opposed to storing all of your photos on one centralizes spot that can be hacked like Google Drive). Bitcoin doesn’t address this problem.

Problem Borders create new currencies.

Is it too late to invest in Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies?

Right now, this reminds me of the Internet in 1995–6. There’s a bit of irrational exuberance in new coins. Prices are going crazy.

There will be a massive pullback. BUT, the legitimate coins are here to stay and will keep going.

Amazon, of course, pulled back, when the Internet pulled back. Now it will eventually be a trillion dollar company. Many companies that started in the 90s have survived and thrived and were great long-term investments that have paid off.

Cryptocurrencies are the “internet of money”. The internet is here to stay and so is the internet of money.

We are only in inning one of the cryptocurrency shift in our money.

Will cryptocurrencies replace paper money?

Yes. Eventually. It might not be Bitcoin although Bitcoin will always exist.

But each country, to solve the problems of paper money, will eventually switch. Countries that are debating it include: Israel, Estonia, Venezuela, Argentina.

Countries that will use some aspects of cryptocurrency technology in their central bank will soon include China, Korea, Russia, and yes, the United States.

And many countries will reject cryptocurrencies but their population will shift en masse to cryptocurrencies in order to avoid corruption, human error, theft, etc. First on my list for this is Argentina.

What will the value of cryptocurrencies be?

When I first wrote about this, all cryptocurrencies added up was about $200 BILLION. Now it’s around $750 Billion. Although I do view many of the currencies as scams so the number is really less.

That’s the “SUPPLY” of cryptocurrencies.

The DEMAND is the amount of paper money + gold that exists.

That number is $200 TRILLION.

So in order to go from ONE TRILLION to 200 TRILLION that’s a 200x gain. In other words, $10,000 turns into $2,000,000.

And if you focus on the legitimate currencies, the gains are much greater.

So, again, we are very much in the beginning of this. There is no other investment opportunity in our lifetime greater than this. And we ARE at the beginning.

What are the legitimate cryptocurrencies?

There are many. I don’t want to get into the weeds here and discuss all the technology.

And I also don’t like all the speculative trading that is going on in cryptocurrencies. Speculation leads to scams and bubbles.

But just like there were Internet companies that survived the bust and became the companies we use every day, there are cryptocurrencies that exist now that we will use every day ten years from now.

You said on CNBC that Bitcoin will go to a $1,000,000? Were you kidding?

No.

Bitcoin hit $20,000 recently. We just said it could go at least as much as 200x higher. That’s $4,000,000. So even at $1,000,000, Bitcoin will be a buy.

How else can one make money in the Bitcoin sector?

You don’t have to be a software developer.

When the gold rush hit in the 1800s, Levis Jeans became the big winner. And the companies that sold “picks” and “shovels”.

There will be many picks and shovels companies in the Bitcoin space.

Sites that have the latest bitcoin news and analysis will do well. Exchanges will do well. Companies that help integrate traditional companies with the deeper parts of Bitcoin technology will do well (like whoever is helping UPS integrate blockchain tech into their logistics).

Companies that help new cryptocurrencies launch will do well.

And on and on.

Someone said you called “Bitcoin is a Ponzi scheme” in early 2013. Why should we trust you now?

First, I’m always a believer that the best investment is in yourself. This will provide greater than 200x returns.

That said, I was wrong in early 2013.

I’ve been a software guy for 25+ years. I’m able to do my research. Which I did.

By May 2013 I had already done enough research to build my own bitcoin store, go on CNBC and discuss Bitcoin, and be an advocate when it was just $60. This is all public info.

But, for me, focusing on my physical health, emotional health, creative health, and spiritual health, will always be the most valuable “Currency” I can develop and trade in.

Could Bitcoin be just a fad?

No.

Paper money DOES have the problems described above. Someone has to solve those problems. Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies solve them.

And every industry evolves. Cryptocurrencies are the “In Data We Trust” way in which money is evolving.

And $750 BILLION believes in me on this.

Who is Satoshi?

Satoshi is the secretive founder of Bitcoin. He is worth many many billions in Bitcoin right now. He is anonymous and reporters, governments, etc have never figured out who he is.

That said, a number of people know who he is. I read his blog every day, He is a secretive person and nobody wants to blow his cover.

Well, what should I do now?

Don’t listen to me.

a. Get an account on Coinbase (or wherever). Buy $10 worth of Bitcoin just to taste and feel it.

b. Then read. Read a lot.

Here’s some books not about Bitcoin that are worth reading:

Sapiens by Yuval Hurari

The Evolution of Everything by Matt Ridley

The Ascent of Money by Niall Ferguson.

Antifragile by Naseem Taleb

There’s a lot of discussion of cryptocurrencies on Reddit and Twitter. DO NOT read those. Most of those discussions are filled with trolls although there are some decent sources there.

Blogs / Sites: start with Coindesk and CoinTelegraph. You’ll find the rest as you read more.

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